How to Break the Ice On a First Date

The worst part of a first date is the awkwardness. It can be difficult to break the ice on a first date, especially without a plan. But a little bit of forethought can make breaking the ice on a first date easy and avoid potentially embarrassing or upsetting situations.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Choose an activity that will inspire conversation. Movies, concerts and plays are not necessarily the best choice because most of the date will be spent in silence! Museums, galleries and open air festivals are much more conducive to conversation. If both parties enjoy sports, sporting events are a good bet because they allow for conversation while the action plays out.

2. Make jokes, but only general or self-effacing humor. Avoid making fun of others, as well as jokes about politics or religious beliefs. If uncomfortable with trying to be funny, skip this. It is more important to be natural and comfortable.

3. Ask questions and show an interest, but be careful not to get too personal too quickly. Pets, work, hometowns and music are usually safe topics. If possible, ask about topics that will reveal personality, such as favorite comedians or bands.

4. Have a plan, and fall back on a stock question or two to draw out conversation if necessary. For example, be ready to ask "What are your top five movies of all time?" or "If you could go any where right now, where would it be?"

5. Avoid boasting, complaining and adult language. Attempt to keep conversation positive.

6. Listen. It is always important to listen and respond in a way that shows that she is being listened to and that her thoughts and feelings are important. Find the connections in her views and feelings and allow her to steer the conversation.

Resources

• Love-lectures.com features first date advice.
• Askmen.com has tips on dating from the male perspective.

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[Maverick23]

on 9/9/2008 Sorry, but self-effacing jokes are not very attractive. Making fun of others (as long as it's FUNNY) is always good. Teasing the girl mercilessly (always in a playful fun way, never mean-spirited) is my favorite thing to do. And it works sooooo well :)

[Fike]

on 9/8/2008 I like your suggestion to, "have a plan." And be willing to be flexible with that plan. Like public speaking (see my article on that topic), you wanna be real above all else. Sure, that's difficult at times, but it helps us cut through initial postures so that people can see the difference. And as in the movie "Almost Famous," we can say: "Doesn't it always feel different when you hear the truth?" Thanks for the article! -Larry Fike

[SDKP]

on 9/8/2008 How about throw actual ice at him? That's what I would do.

[SueanneD]

on 9/8/2008 I especially like Step 2. Very important to remember that. Nicely done!

[taskeinc]

on 9/8/2008 Step 5 is one people should take heed to (as well as the other steps) because it's nothing worse than being on a date and your date is constantly complaining ...