How to Fake an Orgasm

Faking an orgasm is an illusion everyone should master, but it should only be used on occasion. Maybe you don't want to hurt your partner's feelings. Maybe you're late for work. Or you are just tired. Whatever your reasons, follow these steps to fake the best orgasm of your life.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Build momentum. If you were lying there like a log, then suddenly you suddenly explode in ecstasy, your partner will know you're faking. Take the time to create the illusion of orgasm by gradually increasing the intensity of your actions.

2. Be vocal. This is undoubtedly the easiest step. Moan in fake delight. Say your partner's name. Grunt. Make whatever noise necessary to have a believable performance.

3. Breathe. Changes in breathing patterns indicate changes in the body. Capitalize on that by quickening your breath. Inhale and exhale deeply. Break up deep breaths with shorter ones.

4. Writhe. Your body is your instrument. Thrash about wildly. Tense your muscles. Convulse if you can. Shaking combined with the breathing and vocalizing is sure to be a hit.

5. Hold on. Grab the sheets, a pillow, or whatever you can get a hold to including your partner.

Tips & Warnings

• Act as natural as possible. If you don't normally scream "You're a god" during orgasm, then don't do it when you fake it either.
• Lie there exhaustedly afterwards for dramatic effect.
• If you're faking because you don't know what works for you, then try exploring your own body to find out.
• Repeat only when necessary.
• Faking orgasms can lead to permanently bad sexual experiences.
• Don't be afraid to open the lines of communication about sex.