How to Talk Like George W. Bush

President Bush is know for getting tongue tied and bogged down in his own Texas drawl, all of which makes for some entertaining moments. Follow these steps to amuse others with your best W impersonation.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Get yourself a southern drawl. The most striking feature of George W. Bush' s speech is his Texas twang. Pay attention to country singers and rodeo announcers to hear how they speak. Elongate vowels and slow your speech in order to begin to speak like George W. Bush.
2. Add southern phrases and language into your speech. Begin by using the common phrase "ya'll," which is a favorite of George W. Bush, to mean "you." Also use double negatives and regularize the word "don't" for all subjects. For example, say "Johnny don't like chicken," instead of "Johnny doesn't like chicken."
3. Be sure to mix metaphors and scramble idioms. George W. Bush is famous for botching metaphors and idioms such as the saying, "Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me," which Bush transformed into, "Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice...you can't, you fool me again." Some people believe he does this deliberately to lighten the mood.
4. Forget everything your grammar teach ever told you. Subject-verb agreement, parallel tenses and everything that makes a sentence grammatically correct can be thrown out the window. George W. Bush uses a distinctive grammatical style in his speech.
5. Speak with confidence. If there is one positive aspect about George W. Bush's speech is that he speaks naturally and with confidence. So, since you are disregarding the mechanics of speech, you might as well speak as naturally as possible in order to properly imitate President Bush's speech.