How to Beat a Bully

It is possible to beat a bully without fighting, and the same strategies work against bullies of all ages. Just follow these steps to thwart bullies wherever you find them.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Stand up to the bully, but do not fight. Bullies focus on people they feel they have an advantage over and can easily control. Frequently this is a belief that they are physically stronger than their victim. Fighting is to be avoided as is giving in to the bully' s demands. Bullies prefer easy targets.

2. Make eye contact and be assertive. It is important that bullies see that they are being dealt with as an equal, not as a superior.

3. Avoid responding to taunts and challenges. Bullies seek to control and manipulate their victims. They use insults, dares and taunts to attempt to force victims to respond and feed the bully' s ego. Ignoring a bully and withholding the reward of manipulating another will often discourage bullies who are attempting to anger and frustrate their victims.

4. Inform superiors. Whether a teacher or a supervisor, if bullying behaviors will not stop the best way to beat a bully may be to tell someone in authority. It may be the only way to keep people from being physically hurt.

5. Decide when bullying becomes dangerous. No one deserves to be bullied, and no one deserves to be hurt. It is possible that bullying may escalate into serious physical violence, and it is best to decide in advance under what circumstances active self defense is necessary.

6. Enroll in self defense classes or some other self esteem boosting ability. Bullies often seek to boost their own self esteem by destroying the esteem of others. Frequently, their targets do not have a high sense of self esteem. Taking steps to increase one's own self worth always leads to positive results. Sound personal defense instruction is often a great way to achieve increased self esteem and boost confidence.

Resources

• Keepkidshealthy.com has strategies for dealing with children's bullies.
• The bullyinginstitute.org website has many articles on workplace bullies as well as anti-bully laws.

[derhalster]

on 11/15/2007 how should I approach a new neighbor whom I've caused to move his whole-house aircon compressor from being too close to our bedroom (contrary to local regulations) and who has not spoken to me since I first made the request. I had been informed by the realtor that the contract for the house contained the requirement that the aircon be moved and the vendor had mad a financial allowance to the purchaser, my new neighbor, to cover the cost...but when I first approched him, he said that he had not been tols and that there was no allowance. Sorry if that's all a bit screwed up, but hopefully you'll understand the situation.

[Eli-Z]

on 10/11/2007 This is an absolutely accurate, responsible and socially benevolent article. I applaud you.