How to Deal With Unrequited Love

Being in love with somebody who doesn't love you can be a heartbreaking experience. Follow these steps to move past the pain and get on with your life.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Accept the fact that he doesn't feel the same way about you. If you continue to believe that there is a chance he will eventually love you, you will never move on.

2. Understand the reasons why she doesn't feel the same way. Understanding the reasons for the unrequited love will help you to move past the situation and get over her.

3. Stay positive. Don't let this situation cause you to have bitter feelings toward finding someone who loves you. It will lead you toward becoming a bitter and unhappy person.

4. Get your mind off of him. Spend more time with friends and family, and surround yourself with those who love and care about you.

5. Keep busy. Throw yourself into your work or hobbies. If you don't have any hobbies there are plenty to choose from so it won't be difficult finding one.

6. Focus on your future. Nobody has ever moved forward by constantly looking back. Focusing on your future will make you take your focus off her.

7. Remind yourself of your good qualities. Just because one person does not love you does not mean you are not a good person. Remind yourself of that as often as necessary.

8. Go out on dates. It may be difficult at first because your heart may still belong to him but the worst that could happen is that you meet someone you like to hang out with. You never know, you may meet someone you really like that feels the same way about you.

9. Appreciate yourself. Realize that you don't need anyone to validate you and that you are still the wonderful person you were before the breakup. Remind yourself that most relationships don't work out and that your breakup isn't unusual. Work on gaining independence so that you can be just as happy alone as when you're in a relationship. That will make you more attractive.

10. If you've been left before, think of how you overcame that pain. You did it once, you can do it again.

11. Don't feed the monster. After a week or two of grief, stop yourself from indulging conversations about your lost love or from obtaining information about them. In time, your grief will fade on its own, provided you let it.

12. Ask yourself, "Why would I want to be with anyone who doesn't love me back?" You deserve better. You may discover you are repeating a pathology from your childhood, clinging to someone who doesn't appreciate you in an effort to win the approval you could not get from your parents. Seek professional help to dig deeper if you suspect this is true.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid seeing her. Some situations are unavoidable, such as if you work together or have a class together, but void going to the same hangouts or other social places you know she frequents.
• Laugh a lot. Watch a funny movie, go see a comedy show or hang out with your funniest friends. Laughter helps prevent you from becoming depressed and dwelling on the requited love.
• Treat yourself. Buy that fabulous pair of shoes that you've had your eye on or get that massage you know you deserve.
• Don't be angry. Your feelings of anger will seep into every aspect of your life. You will alienate friends if you become angry and take that anger out on them.
• Don't shut yourself off. Believe it or not, she is not the only girl for you. Move on so you don't miss out on finding someone really special.
• If you can't get past this, seek professional help. Find out if what you felt for this person was genuine love or part of an addiction.

Resources

• Unrequited love is further explained at thesite.org.
• Learn how to overcome unrequited love at astorytoshare.com

[shitface182]

on 10/18/2009 What if this person is your best friend and your ALWAYS around them?

[tangerines]

on 6/28/2009 Immersing myself in mother nature. Taking a long trip to the other side of the world. Learning to step outside of my head....these are all things that helped me cope.

[bothered]

on 6/11/2009 what shall i do when everything reminds me of him?when i can't stay friends with him anymore and at the same time i wanna see him and talk to him everyday...i wanna get over him,but some things like dreams and other factors don't let me do this. i dream of him every night,and i'm tired of it and every song and movie reminds me of him ,of our conversations...

[sophybirdy]

on 2/21/2009 It's hard to move on when you have the feeling that the guy chased you and when you finally tell him that you hae feelings for him, he tells you that he doesn't feel the same way. The guy I'm talking about was my coach. He approached me by humming a love song of a guy who finally gets the courage to talk to a girl he likes. Then as we practiced together, he would hold my hand almost constantly, often bringing it to his chest. The last time I saw him for practice, we were behing closed doors and he moved very close to me, bumping into me, holding my hand. He was so close I could smell his body odor and perfume. I couldn't take it anymore and I told him that I had feelings for him. I knew he had a girlfriend and kids but thought that maybe he was unhappy. He reacted by telling me that he absolutely had no feelings for me and that he was going to get married! I was devastated because I didn

[sophybirdy]

on 2/21/2009 It's hard to move on when you have the feeling that the guy chased you and when you finally tell him that you hae feelings for him, he tells you that he doesn't feel the same way. The guy I'm talking about was my coach. He approached me by humming a love song of a guy who finally gets the courage to talk to a girl he likes. Then as we practiced together, he would hold my hand almost constantly, often bringing it to his chest. The last time I saw him for practice, we were behing closed doors and he moved very close to me, bumping into me, holding my hand. He was so close I could smell his body odor and perfume. I couldn't take it anymore and I told him that I had feelings for him. I knew he had a girlfriend and kids but thought that maybe he was unhappy. He reacted by telling me that he absolutely had no feelings for me and that he was going to get married! I was devastated because I didn