How to Stay Married

Getting married is easy. Staying married is hard. Staying happily married is even harder. Prevention is the key so that you don't wake up one day asking yourself "Should I stay married?" A few steps on your part toward improving your marriage will work wonders towards making your marriage strong, secure and content.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Journal

1. Agree that divorce is not an option and will never even be mentioned. If you must stay in your marriage, you will be far likelier to work at the quality of your marriage. Do not use the word even as a threat or as a joke.

2. Communicate with your spouse. Regular dialogue, quick conversations during the day or debriefing at night will keep the lines of communication open.

3. Fight with your spouse. That might sound contradictory but a good, clean fight will clear the air and help move communication to a deeper level. Keep the fight fair and be sure to reassure your spouse of your love and commitment.

4. Keep complaints to yourself. Do not join in husband- or wife-bashing when friends or family indulge. Show a healthy respect for your spouse by not airing your dirty laundry in public. Not only will your spouse feel bad if he should hear, but the friends you have complained to have long memories. Write in a journal if you are feeling the need to vent.

5. Have separate interests and hobbies. By leaving the relationship for some time alone, you come back reenergized and renewed. You will have more to share if you have some time for yourself.

6. Go on dates, even after you have been married for years and especially if you have children. Carve out time for just you two, making couplehood a priority. Try new things together, take a class, find favorite places that you can revisit again and again and create memories together.

7. Cultivate family and friend relationships too. Keeping a strong group of friends or maintaining family ties offers stability and allows your relationship to grow in context with other relationships.

8. Work on you. There is very little you can do to change him or her. By working on your idiosyncrasies, bad habits and annoying traits, you have taken the first positive step. Marriage is not a contract but instead it is a covenant. You can't keep score and expect your marriage to flourish.

Tips & Warnings

• Surprise your spouse with a special treat, a handwritten note or a weekend away for no reason.
• For dangerous or troubling relationship problems like abuse, adultery or addiction, see a professional counselor.

Resources

• Purchase
• Purchase
• Attend a MarriageEncounter weekend to strengthen your marriage relationship.

[Geek]

on 7/16/2007 great article thanks