How to Deal With Divorced Parents

No matter how old you are, if your parents divorce you feel it. Even if you knew their relationship was doomed or even if you wanted it to end, at some point you have to deal with the divorce. Sometimes dealing with divorced parents is more painful than living with their marriage. Don't let their issues become your downfall. Instead, lead the way to a healthy, functional relationship with your parents.

Instructions

1. Stay involved with your parents. Just because your family dynamics change, it doesn't mean you lose a parent. The trick is not to let your parents put you in the middle of their problems. It is not appropriate for a parent to vent about your other parent, ask you to take sides or try to have you deliver a message from them.

2. Express your feelings. Tell your parents, friends, therapist, diary or family pet how you feel. It's important to get your emotions out. If it's not too uncomfortable, speak directly with your parents about how the divorce and their actions are impacting your life. The sooner you begin a conversation about how the changes affect you, the better.

3. Be patient with the changes. If you're still living at home, you may have to deal with moving, split custody, step parents or new financial challenges. Create a daily routine that works for you. Incorporate the changes into your life. Talk with your parents about any issues or concerns you have with the changes.

4. Help your siblings. If anyone understands what you're going through, it's your brothers or sisters. Work as a team to remain positive. Talk about your futures and laugh together.

Tips & Warnings

• You are not to blame. It is not your fault that your parents divorced. Say this until you believe it.

• Do not pick sides. As hard as it may be, keep an open mind and give both parents a chance to be a part of your life.