How to Deal With Needy Family Members
The phone rings and it's your sister. She's complaining again because she balanced her checkbook wrong, her rent check is going to bounce and she needs to borrow $100. You love her to death but the same thing has happened on several occasions and you have yet to see your money returned. Follow these directions and you can soon learn how to deal with needy family members.
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Instructions
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Tell your family member when you honestly are not able to assist them due to other commitments on your time and finances. With family it is hard because you really do want to help but if you can constantly be relied upon they will never learn to help themselves. Encourage them to find responsible solutions to their needs.
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Set boundaries with your needy family members. Tell them that you have your own family to take care of and can't afford to help financially but would love to help in other ways. You can offer to babysit for free or help with some of the services they have to pay for such as offering your laundry facilities and inviting them to eat dinner with you once a week.
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Turn your ringer off when you need to dedicate time to other commitments and let the needy family member leave a message. Call them back when you are able to sit and listen and devote some of your time to their needs.
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Schedule some time to assist your needy family member after you have taken care of your other responsibilities. Let them know when you'll be available and have them put a list together of things they need help with.
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Offer to help the needy family member learn to manage their finances and other responsibilities so they'll become more independent and less likely to be so needy.
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Comments
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sofia12
Mar 24, 2009
I love that this article exists but could use a follow-up on family that isn't just needy but takes advantage of my time. It's horrible to say but my family has become so needy when it comes to doing stuff on their computer that they don't even try and solve their own problems anymore -- they just come right to me and I get really irritable because they're not even trying anymore. Meanwhile, I have a fulltime job, a business I'm trying to get off the ground, and other life things of my own to take care of. So, how do we set clear boundaries so that we can be helpful to family members but not find ourselves with a second fulltime job? -
sofia12
Mar 24, 2009
I love that this article exists but could use a follow-up on family that isn't just needy but takes advantage of my time. It's horrible to say but my family has become so needy when it comes to doing stuff on their computer that they don't even try and solve their own problems anymore -- they just come right to me and I get really irritable because they're not even trying anymore. Meanwhile, I have a fulltime job, a business I'm trying to get off the ground, and other life things of my own to take care of. So, how do we set clear boundaries so that we can be helpful to family members but not find ourselves with a second fulltime job?
