How to Have a Conversation with a Teen

If the only conversations you’re having with teenagers are filled with questions, reprimands, or advice, they probably won’t open up or talk to you much. Teenagers shut down and clam up when adults resort to lecturing, interrogating or cross-examining. If you want to promote a two-way conversation, it’s vital to polish these conversational skills first.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Willingness to learn
• Sense of humor

1. Drop what you’re doing, sit down, and give your undivided attention when your teen walks into the room.
2. Smile and look friendly. No one wants to talk to a person with a stern frown on his or her face
3. Use these phrases: Really? What happen next? Is there anything else? What are you going to do? Is there anything you’d like me to do? Use these phrases in place of offering advice or lecturing.
4. Provide a respectful forum by listening carefully to what your teen is saying. This way you’ll be able to find out what makes your teenager tick and you'll learn how his or her reasoning works.
5. Keep conversations confidential. Teens are highly sensitive to adults talking about them. They feel they can't trust you if you gossip about them.
6. Let the teen be in charge of closing the conversation. When a teen is finished talking don’t push him or her to continue and don’t beg for more information.
7. If your teen is not in the mood for talking at all, smile and stay friendly just the same. Share a tidbit from your day.

Tips & Warnings

• If your teen reveals startling information during a conversation, don’t use it against him.