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Step 1
Prepare yourself for the ordeal you are about to go through. Find reliable information about the cult you are dealing with so you know what to expect. It is very helpful to find an ex-cult member who understands what the cult member is going through and can guide you through the minefield of extricating him or her from the cult.
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Step 2
Control your emotional responses when talking to the cult member, especially anger. Try to interact with them as often as possible, preferably face to face, but also in letters and phone calls. Let them know you love them and they have a place to go if they want to leave. Never be condescending or insulting when talking to them about their beliefs or the leader while they are still inside.
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Step 3
Find a deprogrammer to help you get the cult member out. Once this is accomplished, you must keep the person in a safe, but isolated, place and allow the deprogrammer to retrain the cult member in his beliefs. It is important for cult leaders to be discredited by pointing out the contradictions in their ideology versus their actions and to provide proof of these contradictions if possible.
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Step 4
Appeal to the emotions of the victim. They have been taught techniques to block outside influence. Make sure you do not use any catchwords or phrases which will trigger a relapse into cult thinking. Keep switching subjects to keep them off balance so they have to think. This is difficult and painful for them but with persistence they will begin to think on their own again.
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Step 5
Provide a stable environment for the ex-cult member to live in. Make sure he goes to a therapist regularly and goes out to develop interests of his own. Safeguard him against cult members who may try to draw him back into the cult, and if possible, find an ex-cult member to spend time with the victim, reassuring him that things will be okay.
