How to Claim Alien Abduction Insurance

If you've taken out UFO abduction insurance from The Saint Lawrence Agency and you've just returned from the mother ship, there are some important things to keep in mind if you want to make a claim on your policy. Keep track of your proof and your memories so incomplete paperwork doesn't stand between you and $10,000,000.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• UFO Abduction Insurance Policy

1. Keep your UFO abduction insurance policy information on you at all times. You never know when you might be leaving the planet.
2. Collect proof of your journey while on board the unidentified spacecraft. Quality photographs or alien DNA will suffice.
3. Obtain the signature of an authorized on board alien before departing the spacecraft. This is essential to a win successful claim.
4. Return to Earth and complete all associated paperwork. The Saint Lawrence Agency provides you with all necessary forms upon request.
5. Name the type of life-form you were abducted by. A thorough description works if you can't identify or spell out the particular species.
6. Describe the type of UFO you traveled in. Pictures of the spacecraft may help with this.
7. Submit the required paperwork to your insurance provider and collect $1 a year for the next 10,000,000 years.

Tips & Warnings

• Carry a space pen that writes upside down so you can get a signature no matter what the gravitational circumstances.
• Remember you can not make a claim from another planet. You must return to Earth.