How to Talk to Aging Parents About Their Future

It is difficult for a child to consider the role reversal of caring for an aging parent. It is important to talk to your parents about topics such as elder care and finances before they develop serious physical or mental impairments. Every family is different. Some parents may welcome a discussion on aging because it will put them at ease about the future. Other parents may feel uncomfortable talking about certain topics. Although it is difficult, you are doing the right thing by being proactive.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Legal documents
• Financial information
• Medical information

1. Prepare for the discussion. Jot down a list of topics to cover. Plan to begin the conversation by stressing that it is important to learn your parents' wishes so you can ensure they have the type of life they want in the future.

2. Ask if your parents have worked with an attorney to draft important legal documents. The most common documents include a will or trust, medical power of attorney, financial power of attorney and living will.

3. You should be aware of your parents' financial situation. Ask for the following information: bank name and account number, investment accounts (IRA, 401K) and monthly income.

4. There may come a time when your parents are unable to live on their own. Ask you parents what type of lifestyle they prefer. They may wish to remain at home and obtain elder care services. They may wish to live with a family member. They may wish to move to an independent or assisted living facility.

5. It is very important to learn about each parent's health condition. Ask for a list of medications and get to know their physician. Also ask for medical, dental and supplemental insurance information.

6. Death is difficult to discuss. It is important to know if your parents wish to be revived if they become critically ill. Individuals who do not wish to be revived may create a Do Not Resuscitate document. Also ask about funeral and burial preferences. Some aging parents purchase their own grave site in advance.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't go it alone. Read books or articles about talking to aging parents. Seek advice from a counselor or non-profit organization.
• Don't let your fear or discomfort stand in the way of this important discussion.

[bailey4]

on 6/6/2009 I've been down this road with an elderly relative and its a challenging one. Your tips are right on the money. While the conversations are tough, having them while you are still able is invaluable.