How to Resolve Family Conflicts

Conflicts arise in every family. Sometimes, conflicts are small and are resolved within a matter of minutes. Other times, conflicts are big and take months or years to resolve. No matter the size of the argument, there are healthy and productive ways to work toward the resolution of family conflicts. Follow these steps to learn more.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Identify the problem. Tell your family what the problem is clearly and calmly. Pay attention to your tone of voice and the words you choose to express your feelings.

2. Discuss the problem. Everyone involved should participate in the conversation.

3. Listen with an open mind. This will help you to understand the situation as a whole.

4. Take a break. If the discussion gets heated and is beginning to escalate into an argument, walk away to cool off so everyone can come back to the discussion with calm, open minds.

5. Come up with a solution. Collectively decide and agree upon what the best solutions are to the problem.

6. Put your solution into practice. Simply creating a solution does not resolve the conflict. You have to act upon a solution in order for the conflict to come to a resolution.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep an open mind. There are often many sides to family conflicts. Try to understand others' points of view.
• Be patient. Your family members may not be ready to discuss the conflict. Give them time to come around.
• Stay calm. This helps to ensure that the entire conflict resolution process will remain calm as well.
• Don't rush it. If your feelings are still raw and hurt, you may not be able to express yourself effectively. Wait before openly discussing the issue to prevent this from happening.
• Keep place and time in mind when discussing family conflicts. A happy or festive occasion is not the best time to air your differences. Use common sense.
• Avoid accusations. Accusatory phrases like "you always" and "you never" can make people become defensive.

[heatherholmes]

on 1/11/2009 As my husband has said "You can not change anyone. You can only change yourself. You have complete control over your actions." Perhaps your approach is causing them to be closed minded. Be more aware of how you approach them. Ask if the words you are using offends them. Perhaps your perception of them being closed minded is a result of your own approach (tone, facial expressions, words used, etc).

[Motheroffive]

on 12/30/2008 Ask then how they would feel and how they would like it if you felt the sam way they do.

[Motheroffive]

on 12/30/2008 Try using examples, placing your husbend and son,in your shoes. Have then try to see from the outside looking in.

[etolearn]

on 12/30/2008 How can I continue keeping an open mind? When I try to discuss my feelings my husband and son don't have the ability to see my point of view. I feel like they are closed minded and can't put themselves in another persons shoes to understand their opinion.