How to Be More Than Friends

If you have had a relationship with a special person for several weeks, months or years, you might reach a point where you wish to deepen that relationship. A healthy friendship is a wonderful foundation upon which to build an enduring relationship that features love and perhaps even a lasting commitment.

Instructions

1. Examine what makes your friendship so special, and focus on this source of pleasure. If your love of wine-tasting brought you together, suggest a day-trip to a local winery. If you share similar values or dreams, tell your friend how much it means to you to have someone to share these with.

2. Acknowledge what your friend does for you by offering words of appreciation. If her jokes always relax you after a day of work, tell her how much her sense of humor means to you. If he turns the TV to mute whenever you share an anecdote about your family, acknowledge this attention.

3. Tend to the relationship lovingly, as if it were a hothouse flower. A neglected flower wilts. Offer your attention and support every day, even if you must use the phone or email to do so.

4. Learn what brings you closer and what makes you more distant, and nurture that which brings you closer. For example, if you notice yourself criticizing your friend over his appearance or the company he keeps, reduce your criticism and feel how the sense of connection deepens.

5. Become a better listener. A large part of feeling loved is feeling that you have been heard and understood. Give the gift of your complete attention, coupled with lingering eye contact.

6. Allow the relationship to take its natural course. If your feelings for your friend have moved to the next level, you might feel anxious and eager for your friend to share in your feelings. It's natural for emotions to wax and wane in a relationship, and if your relationship is destined to progress into something beyond friendship, applying pressure may have the opposite effect.