How to Lose a Customer

Sinking a business of any size is done by losing customers. Running a small business is largely about finding and keeping customers for your product or service. Keep customers away by refusing to adhere to the basic rules of customer service.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Sell something no one wants. Make sure that your product or service appeals only to you and will not be useful to anyone else.
2. Keep your own needs in mind instead of the customer's. Plan your business around what will make work easier for you and your employees, instead of what will bring customers in and keep them coming back.
3. Pretend to listen to customer complaints. Implement none of their suggestions for improvements. Remember that the customer is not as smart as you, and will never understand your business.
4. Talk down to your customers. Keep customers away by ignoring any questions they have and going back to your own tasks. Do less than is expected of you, as part of your customer service. Make sure customers know how unimportant they are to you.
5. Offer no incentives for customers to come back. Charge more than the competition does and offer the same or less in return.

Tips & Warnings

• Be rude at all times.
• Offer very few ways to lodge complaints or to get in touch with management. Allowing few ways to get in touch will discourage complaints.
• Never offer more customer service than you must. Doing the bare minimum should be enough for them, and if it isn't, they can go elsewhere.