How to Support a Friend During a Divorce
When your friend breaks down and finally tells you they are getting divorced, the right words are never there. No matter what you come up with, you feel like turning back time and saying something different. Whether you have been through a divorce yourself, or are struggling to understand your friend's dilemma, this is a personal struggle, and you should provide comfort and support without imposing your own ideas.
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Instructions
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Listen to your friend. You are not the expert on their feelings or situation, even if you have been through a divorce. Everyone and every situation is different, so just listen to them, even if it is all night.
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Provide a place for them to stay. Your friend may need a place to stay for a night, or several weeks until they can think clearly and make a plan.
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Refrain from talking about their spouse in a negative way, even if they are. You want to be the person they turn to and if they hear you talking negatively about their spouse, they may not feel that you will understand when their mood changes to sadness or regret.
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Offer advice only when it is necessary, or when they ask. If you feel they are being unrealistic or are doing something they will regret, make sure you show compassion when deterring them. Don't say, "Are you crazy?" Say, "You may want to rethink this. It may cause you problems down the road."
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Distance yourself from arguments between your friend and their spouse. It is human nature to want to protect those that we love, but this isn't your fight, you are just a bystander.
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Stay positive for your friend. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but in most cases, that light is not visible to your friend. Don't expect them to see things from your perspective, but reassure them that support will be there as long as it's needed.
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Tips & Warnings
Let your friend talk as much as they need to. Sometimes, people need to vent and hear their thoughts out loud. It is better for them to release their frustrations to you in private, than to leave a nasty message on their spouse's answering machine!
Being a good friend doesn't mean getting involved in their divorce. You can make things worse if you get involved, so just stay in the background and be their support.
