How to Conduct Yourself at a Bris

Mazel tov! You've been invited to a bris. While a bris is a joyous occasion, it is also a serious one, because the baby boy of honor is supposed to give up a part of himself to God. A ritual circumcision is a sacred Jewish tradition that may be uncomfortable for guests who aren't familiar with it, so being prepared for what you will see and experience will help you conduct yourself properly.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Food or drink for the reception

Conduct Yourself Properly at a Bris

1. Contact your host to find out if there is anything you can bring to the event. A bris event usually includes a reception, and the new mother will likely thank you for bringing something. Note that a bris is not a shower, and gifts for the baby do not have to be given at this time.
2. Wear non-revealing, semi-formal clothing. Items you would wear to a church or synagogue are appropriate for a bris, but avoid loose jewelry. Those invited to a bris are often close friends and family, and they are usually expected to hold the baby at some point during the ceremony.
3. Welcome the baby with the rest of the partygoers when the ceremony begins with "Baruch Habah," Hebrew for "welcome male." These words are also used when welcoming the groom to the altar during a wedding ceremony. Listen as the mohel recites several Torah verses.
4. Watch as the baby will then be placed on a chair called the Chair of Elijah. The mohel will then welcome Elijah the Prophet, who is considered the guardian of all children. At this point, the bris will be performed. Surprisingly, the ceremony is only 30 seconds long.
5. Listen to the Naming Kiddush, a prayer during which the baby's name is revealed. It is customary for the parents to explain for whom their child was named.
6. Enjoy yourself with the rest of the guests during the suedat mitzvah, which is a meal with sacred status. Hosts usually provide a lavish spread, but challah and kosher wine alone are also acceptable.

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Tips & Warnings

• Feel free to look down while the mohel, the rabbi who is certified to perform the circumcision, is performing the ritual. Looking away quietly is not considered disrespectful.
• Consider yourself lucky if the baby's parents deem you the sandak, who holds the baby during the circumcision. It is a high honor.
• Bris ceremonies have been proven to be less painful than circumcisions done by surgeons at a hospital. Visit Torah View's website for more information on the bris (see Resources below).
• If you are unable to conduct yourself calmly during the ceremony, it is best to leave the room quietly.