How to Get Over a Breakup

Breakups are never easy, especially if you are the one getting broken up with. Remember that Angelina, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears... EVERYONE has gone through a difficult break up. Here's some realist, pragmatic and uncomplicated advice (better than any you'll find on Dr. Phil or Oprah) on how to get over it as best as anyone possibly can.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• journal
• pen
• friends
• Kleenex
• bath tub
• $$$

1. Look your best. No matter how difficult it feels to do so. You already feel awful, looking frumpy (or dumpy) is only going to make you feel worse. Do not opt for the sweatpants and dirty or oversized t-shirt. Do not go without your make-up and do not decide to go off your diet. Deal with the stress by exercising. Deal with the stress by buying a FEW new pieces of clothing. Get a make over. Get your nails done. Get a massage. Spoil yourself a little because you deserve it. Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to look like crap because if you do, you will feel like crap too.
2. Make plans with old friends. Whether your relationship lasted for 10 days, 10 months or 10 years, you probably spent much of your time with your partner and not enough time with your friends. Now is the best time to catch up with them. You should book your calendar (especially for Friday and Saturday days and nights) with get togethers with friends so that you are not sitting around by yourself sulking over the relationship. Don't get me wrong, reflection and alone time is great and important and you should allow for that and not over-book your calendar, but you definitely want to surround yourself with those that know and love you and can take your mind off the relationship and provide good friend therapy.
3. Don't engage in any irrational behavior: 1) No new haircuts; 2) No binge spending (no, you don't need those shoes, that huge piece of exercise equipment or that car); 3) No binge eating; 4) No phone calls to the ex; 5) No phone calls to the ex ex; 6) No drive by's of the ex's apartment; 7) Don't plan any "accidental" run-ins with the ex, or 8) Do not go out every night and get trashed and run into his or her friends. This is YOUR time. Make the most of it.
4. Making the most of your time is not easy, especially when the two of you did everything together. But here are some good ideas: 1) Sign up for a language class (you have ALWAYS wanted to learn to speak another language); 2) Sign up for a cooking class (you could learn a few things and meet some interesting people); 3) Join a new gym (you probably went to the same gym as the ex, let him/her have it, and join a new gym with new people, new classes, new start..., 4) read those books that everyone recommends to you, browse the bookstore and pick one up; 5) Get coffee at a new coffee shop, you've driven by it before, now is the perfect time to stop in and check out the vibe; 6) Find a new winebar and sit at the bar and drink wine and read your new book or write in your journal; 7) Go to a park, write in your journal and/or people watch. There are millions of other people out there, and seeing new faces will remind you that there are other fish in the sea.

Tips & Warnings

• If he or she calls, don't play games--answer the phone. Just say that you are not ready to talk.
• Don't bore your friends with relationship talk 24/7. You can talk about the relationship, but you are a smart person and have other things to talk about.
• Don't worry about running into him or her. It's inevitable. That's another why you should always look your best!
• Write in your journal so that you can remember these sad and confusing feelings. Write down the good and bad about the relationship and your oldest memories of your time together. It will be cathartic. Write down the 10 best things about him/her and the 10 worst things. You will be surprised about many things probably annoyed you!
• Do NOT share negative or private things about your ex with other people just because you are hurt right now. You should focus on the positive and be fortunate that you shared time together and be fortunate that you are moving on and growing from the experience.
• Do NOT start a new relationship right away (i.e., do not try to hook up with someone just because you are hurt).
• If you can't sleep, consider talking to your physician about whether Ambien or other sleeping aids may be right for you.
• Remember that spending time alone is healthy and it doesn't mean that you miss him/her just because you are bored.
• Being sad after a break up is normal and the pain will go away.
• If you feel the urge to call your ex, write in your journal or call your friends instead.