How to Conduct Yourself at a Bar Mitzvah

A bar mitzvah is a serious and important event for the guests, hosts and bar mitzvah boy himself. However, that doesn't mean you can't have fun. Learn how to conduct yourself at a bar mitzvah to ensure a good time and avoid embarrassment or uncomfortable moments.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Be a Respectful Guest

1. Plan on attending both the religious service and the party. A bar mitzvah is primarily a religious ceremony; it's not appropriate to miss the service.

2. Arrive on time at the synagogue. The ceremony will generally be held in the morning, during the weekly Shabbat (Sabbath) morning service. The bar mitzvah may not occur at the start of the service, but you should still plan on getting there at the beginning.

3. Dress nicely and conservatively for the service. Men should wear dark suits or jackets, ties and slacks, and women should wear dresses, pantsuits or skirts and blouses. Hemlines and necklines should not be revealing.

4. Understand that Jewish tradition dictates that men wear a kippah (skull cap) during the service, particularly in traditional congregations. You may be handed one, and while you are not obligated to wear it, it is a symbol of respect for the synagogue's sanctuary.

5. Respect the sanctity of the synagogue by shutting off your cell phone or pager before the service. Do not take pictures, film video, make noise, talk or applaud during the service, and do not smoke anywhere on the synagogue grounds.

6. Watch other members of the synagogue and listen to the rabbi for cues on when to stand and sit. This is a big part of a Jewish service and shows respect.

7. Let the bar mitzvah boy know he did a great job after the service.

Be the Perfect Host

8. Provide a printed explanation of the significance of the bar mitzvah and its rituals for guests who may be unfamiliar with the event.

9. Greet your guests warmly after the service and thank them for coming. Let them know any special instructions or directions for the upcoming party.

10. Stop at each table during the party and thank your guests again.

Be a Polite Bar Mitzvah Boy

11. Conduct yourself with decorum and maturity, because today you are considered a man in the Jewish religion.

12. Pay attention to all your guests, not just your friends. Make time for kisses from old aunts and distant cousins who have traveled to celebrate with you.

13. Thank your guests for coming to your bar mitzvah by making a small speech.

14. Wait until you are at home to open any presents you have received.

Tips & Warnings

• Conduct yourself as if you were a guest at or host of any formal or semiformal event.