How to defend Windows Vista in a heated argument

The local nerd talking about how awesome his Mac is? Some n00b explaining the greatness of Linux? Use this eHow to smack them all down and win any argument that Vista is anything but supreme.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A really, really fast computer.
• Lots of RAM to run Vista.
• A really good poker face.

1. Install Windows Vista on your computer to familiarize yourself with its features. Note: Prepare a solid 2-hour block of your day to do so.

2. Find the area's that Vista excels in.
   
   A security feature you can't turn off for your own protection even if you don't want/need it? Check! It's called Windows Defender.
   
   A really cool moving background? Check! Only if you have the Ultimate version...
   
   Real neat widgets? Check! Like Weatherbug, only...not spyware.
   
   A new...screensave? Check! BUBBLES!!

3. Look like you know what you're talking about. Don't hesitate. Speak clearly. Speak with authority. And snort whenever anybody mentions how stable their operating system is - yours LOOKS cool.

Tips & Warnings

• Learn how to lie.
• If you run across anybody who knows what they're talking about, pray to God they get hit by lightning or prepare to be embarrassed.