How to Change Your Lover's Clothing Style

In my closet hangs a deep fuchsia winter coat. It is the most glorious coat on the planet. Actually, I'd better reword that last sentence. Correction: It is, in my opinion, the most glorious coat on the planet. In my ex-boyfriend's opinion, however, it is the most hideous coat on the planet. He told me this over Chinese food after we had been dating a couple months. I nearly poked my chopstick through his eye. Take it from me, a woman who has been on both sides of the, "You're not wearing that, are you?" question, proceed with caution if you don't love what your lover wears. One false move could seriously sting your sweetheart, not to mention possibly cause you to go blind in one eye.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Change Your Lover's Clothing Style

1. Suppress the desire to scowl, shake your head or recoil when your darling arrives dressed to kill every ounce of physical attraction that ever existed between the two of you.

2. Accentuate the positive. Obsessing over the detested garment will drive you and your sweetie insane. There's got to be one thing you love about the way your lover looks. Keep your eyes there.

3. Choose sincere praise over nagging insults. Instead of saying, "I hate it when you wear that orange sweatshirt," try, "That green sweater really brings out the color of your eyes." Chances are, your partner will wear those things you compliment more often.

4. Surprise your sugar with a new wardrobe item that both of you will love. The key phrase here is "both of you." Make sure to keep your lover's style in mind while shopping for that perfect gift.

5. Speak up only if you must, if sensitive tactics don't do the trick, if you absolutely cannot stand to be seen next to your partner wearing those horrible leopard print pants for one more second.

6. Criticize the clothing on the person, not the person in the clothing. Make comments about clothing design, style, cut and color. Try, "Those pants don't show off your nice rear end," instead of, "Your butt looks flat in those pants."

7. Keep the kisses coming even if your baby doll continues to sport those tacky leopard print pants or that garish orange sweatshirt of that horrid fuchsia jacket. Part of what makes your sweetheart so sweet is that individual clothing style.

Tips & Warnings

• If it's your outfit that is causing your lover to sour, remain calm. Don't take your partner's critiques to heart. Keep your response playful. A friend of mine suggested that the next time a boyfriend hates on my fuchsia coat, I show up at his house wearing it with nothing but high heels and lingerie. Good suggestion. I have a feeling that would kill any negative feelings toward my beloved garment.

[yourmamasaidwha]

on 1/18/2009 i eBay a lot for step 4...it seems to help a bit because sometimes, a guy just doesn't want to shop for himself...why bother looking decent, right?! thanks for the great and comical tips!

[thecritic]

on 8/7/2008 absolutely funny LOL

[ewmcguire]

on 11/5/2007 So funny and so true!

[yourwriter]

on 10/23/2007 LOL. What a cute article. Love the advice, Lord knows how many of us can use it!!!