How to Tell a Deadbeat Parent How You Really Feel

Communicating with a deadbeat parent can be difficult because of all of the emotions and anger involved. However, it is necessary that the lines of communication stay open even if the parent isn’t living up to his or her obligations. Follow these simple steps and you’ll be able to tell your child’s deadbeat parent how you really feel.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Document all of the instances where the parent has not done something for your child that they said they were going to do. Also document your child’s reaction to the disappointment.
2. Keep track of what the parent owes you as far as child support and any other financial obligations.
3. Keep a record of when, for how long and how often the deadbeat parent has spent time with their child.
4. Make a list of expectations that you have for the parent regarding their interaction with you and your child. These should be as detailed as possible. You don’t want to leave room for any ambiguous interpretations.
5. Compose a letter or an e-mail that explicitly lays out everything you have a problem with based on the records you have kept and the expectations you have for their relationship with you and your child. The letter shouldn’t be nasty or accusatory just simply state the facts and what you expect.
   
   
6. Send the letter or the e-mail and keep a copy for your records.

Tips & Warnings

• Whatever you do don’t come off angry or harsh in your letter. The idea is to be diplomatic, state the facts and tell them how you feel, and more importantly what you expect in reference to your child. You don’t want to alienate the parent anymore than they have already alienated themselves.