How to Comfort a Grieving Parent

When others close to you experience a tragedy, you may feel at a loss on how to respond. In order to comfort a person going through grief, examine what you know about the situation, and try to feel what the grieving person must feel before you respond. Remember, you cannot solve grief. Grief takes its own course. What you can do is comfort.

Instructions

1. Begin with the words, "I am so sorry." If you are face-to-face, you may embrace.

2. Listen closely. After you extend condolences, it is the grieving person's turn. Follow his or her lead.

3. Do not offer reasons why tragedy may have occurred. Do not offer reasons why tragedy is "best." Such rationales do not mend a broken heart.

4. Validate the bereaved. If a mistake led to the tragedy, offer understanding instead of correction. Cry with him.

5. Do not offer vague acts of support such as, "If you need anything, just let me know." Oftentimes a grieving person has no idea what he or she needs. Bring lunch or dinner to her home. Hire a one-time housekeeper, and arrange to stay while the dishes and other chores are being done.

6. Arrange a get-away trip, or a change of scenery, if possible, for the grieving parent.

7. Commit to long-term support, and announce your commitment. "I want to be here for you. You are not going through this alone."