How to Find the Right Wedding Song

Few things are as important to a wedding as the music chosen for this special day. Wedding songs selected by a bride and groom, and the order in which the music is played, will impact the emotions of wedding guests and participants, and will help create the mood for the entire memorable day.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Plan Your 'Musical Score'

1. Discuss your musical tastes. Some couples choose a theme for their wedding music based on shared taste or their history together. But, a theme for your music is not necessary.
2. Make a musical "storyboard" for your wedding. List all the important moments during the day when you would like a specific song played. It is not necessary to have specific songs chosen at this point, but this step gets you to think about what will be needed.
3. Remember that traditionally, brides and grooms usually choose specific songs to be played during the processional, recessional, ceremony, couple's first dance, father-daughter dance, mother-son dance and cake-cutting. In addition, couples often make some choices about the music played during the cocktail hour, during dinner and when it's time to start dancing.

Research the Repertoire

4. Look for web sites that offer tips on choosing wedding music, many of which also include lyrics and audio clips that allow you to listen to 30 or 45 seconds of a song. Even if you think you know a song, seeing the lyrics might remind you that the tune is inappropriate for Aunt Bessie, or doesn't really fit your theme.
5. Search ITunes for wedding playlists that include songs chosen by ITunes members by category. Search for "wedding music" and you will turn up numerous lists and possibly hundreds of ideas for the appropriate song.
6. Ask married couples you know what wedding tunes they chose. We've all been to a wedding ceremony or reception that was notable for its music. Find out how that bride and groom made their music decisions.

Choose Your Music Makers

7. Decide whether your ceremony music will be performed by an individual, a choir, or an instrumental group, and whether your reception music will be played by a live band, a DJ or even via your IPod. This will be one of the most important decisions you make about your day.
8. Clarify your expectations with any musical performers you hire. Let them know which music choices are negotiable and which are firm. Some couples will give a band more elbow room once they see the band's repertoire, or perhaps when it comes to dinner and dancing music. Many bands are wide-ranging, able to play Sinatra and rock at the same event.
9. Give your final wedding music "storyboard" to any performers you hire. Putting all your chosen songs on paper means there won't be any confusion or misunderstandings that can put a dent in your big day.
10. Speak with the officiate who will be conducting the wedding ceremony to find out if the place of worship has any restrictions on the type of music that can be played, or whether you must use the facility's musicians or choir.
11. Be as clear about your wishes for ceremony music as you are about reception music. Depending on your faith, additional music can be necessary for a candle lighting interlude, a moment that involves family members, or a remembrance moment. As a rule, music chosen for processionals tends to be solemn and music for recessionals tends to be joyful.

Tips & Warnings

• Be true to your own tastes in music and don't worry about trying to please all of your wedding guests with your choices.
• Do your homework and research as many song choices as you can.

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