How to Help a Preteen Foster Child to Succeed

By eHow Parenting Editor

Rate: (0 Ratings)

Preteens are not the most difficult foster children to raise, but they are most certainly the most overlooked ones. Preteen foster children are at the most risk. This is simply because how you deal with them now will affect how they act as teenagers, how they feel about themselves and their future success.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

  • Life books
  • Compassion
  • Patience
  • Scrapbook
  • Camera

Step1
Remember that this is the age most foster children feel the most self-conscious about being foster children. Talk with them about their feelings, and request counseling if they seem to need it.
Step2
Don't take their emotions personally. They are angry and scared and don't know how to deal with it.
Step3
Show the child appropriate ways to deal with feelings such as physical activity, music or talking it out.
Step4
Get the child a new journal with a lock. Let this continue to be private.
Step5
Let the child continue to help you record their activities, growth, birthdays and other events by keeping a scrapbook for them. Letters from you, friends and family would make the scrapbook even more special. Remember to add poems the child wrote or art they made, as well as photos.

Puberty and Rules

Step1
Discuss puberty with children between ages 10 and 12 if they have not already started puberty. Be sure you are prepared with feminine products for girls. Let them know they can come to you any time with questions and concerns.
Step2
Discuss appropriate sexual conduct with child after puberty. Let them know what you expect of them regarding the opposite sex. Be sure they understand that what they do now will affect the rest of their lives. If you are not prepared for this or are uncomfortable, ask your agency if there are sex-ed classes for the child.
Step3
Set rules for dating, activities and parties. Have these in place before the need arises.
Step4
Set chores, allowance and other house rules. Chores teach responsibility, allowance teaches money management and house rules help pave the way for the child to be a law-abiding citizen. They may also help when looking for a job.
Step5
Make sure the child understands that you mean business when you set rules. Enforce them. Give consequences appropriate to the crime. For instance, not doing chores should be punished by extra chores.

Education

Step1
State on the first day of middle school that what they do now will affect the rest of their life. Be sure they understand that grades will affect going to college and that not finishing high school or going to college could affect getting a job. Give them consequences for bad grades so they understand there is an immediate consequence, as well.
Step2
Discuss with the child what they think they would like to do after high school. Discuss whether or not that means going to college.
Step3
Take steps to ensure the child can go to college if they would like. Help encourage them, help them keep grades up and keep focused. Get lessons for special interests such as music, dancing, writing, art or sports.
Step4
Add good grades to the child' life book. Remember to add report cards, test grades, letters from the teachers or anything else that may be wanted. Take pictures of projects that are too big to keep and add those.

Tips & Warnings

  • Keep a watchful eye on how the child acts. If they don't eat at all, very much or eat too much, there may be a problem. If they cry for no reason, have sudden weight gain, weight loss, unexplained injuries, seem frightened of someone or are violent with others, seek help. These are signs of mental health issues and possible abuse.
  • Most children who get "lost in the system" do so during this period. Keep an eye on their grades, friends, activities and emotional state. Don't let problems ruin their lives. If you catch them soon enough, they may not even affect the child.

Post a Comment

POST A COMMENT

Request a New How-To Article

Looking for more How To information? Chances are there’s an eHow member who knows how to do what you’re looking to do. Submit an article request now!

eHow Article:  How to Help a Preteen Foster Child to Succeed

eHow Parenting Editor

eHow Parenting Editor

Category: Parenting

Articles: See my other articles

Related Ads

Choose a Foster Care Agency

How to Choose a Foster Care Agency
By: eHow Parenting Editor



Foster a Child

How to Foster a Child
By: eHow Parenting Editor


Run a Short-Term Care Foster Home

How to Run a Short-Term Care Foster Home
By: eHow Parenting Editor


Be a Foster Parent

How to Be a Foster Parent
By: eHow Parenting Editor


Parenting

JudyFord
Meet Judy Ford eHow’s Parenting Expert.