How to Raise a Foster Child Successfully

Being a foster parent is one of the hardest things to do in life. You care for them just like a parent would, but you are afraid to get attached because they may have to move. That is exactly how foster children feel!

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Scrapbook or Notebook
• Compassion
• The desire to see a child succeed
• Camera
• Life books
• At least one extra bedroom
• Patience
• Foster Parenting Certification (for more information contact your local Department of Human Services)

Prepare

1. Be sure your house is safe for all ages of children and that you have car seats.
2. Have the child's room set up before they arrive.
3. Have arrangements for childcare and medical care in place before the child arrives.
4. Ask your agency for information on lifebooks which are usually for birth certificates, social security cards and other vital records.

The First Day

5. Be calm, gentle and caring when you meet the child for the first time.
6. Make sure you understand all of the child's needs and routines before you take them home.
7. Get home as quickly as possible. Make the day as stress-free as possible for both you and the child.
8. Make sure all of the child's needs are met as soon as you get home.

Infants and Young Children

9. Care for their needs promptly. Follow all general baby care guidelines.
10. Ensure that anyone who cares for the child understands the needs and follows your guidelines.
11. Remember to keep a baby book for them. When the child is older, let the child help you record feelings, activities, growth and special events in a scrapbook.
12. Keep a lookout for problems that could affect school performance.
13. Work with the child on skills needed for school and social interaction.
14. Let them know they are loved!

School-Age Children and Preteens

15. Enroll the child before school starts when at all possible. Be sure you have all required documents (check with the school) before you go. Arrive first thing in the morning.
16. Keep in close contact with all school personnel who have contact with the child.
17. Get a tutor if needed.
18. Keep an eye on their grades, friends, activities and emotional state. Get help if needed.
19. Discuss puberty between ages 10 and 12. Be prepared with feminine products for girls. Set rules for dating, sexual conduct, activities and parties. Have these in place before the need arises.
20. Set chores, allowance and other house rules.

Teenagers (High School)

21. Be sure the teen understands that grades will affect going to college and that not finishing high school or going to college could affect getting a job.
22. Discuss with the teen what they think they would like to do after they graduate. Discuss whether or not that means going to college, how long and where. Find out qualifications for the schools before class starts and help the teen aim for the highest qualification.
23. Take steps to ensure the teen can go to college if they would like to. Get lessons for special interests such as music, dancing, writing, art or sports.
24. Get the teen a driver's manual and sign them up for a driving class. You should check into these classes when enrolling freshman year to learn when the best times to sign up are.
25. Help the teen get a job when they are old enough. Make sure they keep their grades up as well.
26. Help the teen get a bank account. Encourage them to save most or all of their money. Teach them about credit and how to use a checkbook and checkbook register.

Aging Out (Senior Year)

27. Enroll the teen in an independent living seminar. Ask the child's worker for more information.
28. Discuss with the teen's worker what steps need to be taken before the teen ages out. Help the teen put together all paperwork needed for adulthood.
29. Allow the teen to choose extra curricular activities.
30. Help the teen arrange to buy a car or find another transportation solution.
31. Help the teen make arrangements for college living or an apartment.
32. Help the teen select furniture and household items. The agency may help with initial expenses and the cost of living for a few months so check with them first.

The Last Day (Moving Out)

33. Plan a birthday party for the teen. On the teen's eighteenth birthday, you should give a mix of fun gifts and practical ones.
34. Discuss what you want your involvement in the teen's new life to be. Don't give them false hope, but don't be cruel if you don't want to be involved.
35. Make sure the teen has all belongings. Be certain they understand what stays with you when they go. Get the address of where they are going in case something gets left behind.
36. Feel the joy of success. Your job is now done. If you have done it right, this former foster child will live a life of success!

Tips & Warnings

• Don't ever yell at, curse at, threaten or abuse a child in any way!
• Don't become a foster parent for the money. It isn't very much anyway.
• Don't become a foster parent if you are not willing to stick it out when it's tough. It will almost always be tough.
• Don't become a foster parent if you don't like children or crying.