How to Prepare a Child for Preschool

The start of preschool doesn't only bring excitement and anticipation—it can also bring plenty of anxiety. In fact, starting preschool is a potentially traumatic event for you and your child, but there are things you can do before the first day and between sessions to minimize fear, clinging and crying. With a little planning, you can make preschool a positive experience for the whole family.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Photos and video of your child at preschool
• An album of home and family photos to keep at preschool
• A school-day routine

Before the First Day

1. Drive by the preschool and point it out to your child. Use this time to explain the basic routine on school days by saying something like: "I will drive you here and go with you into your classroom. You'll get to spend time playing and learning with other boys and girls your age and then I will take you home."
2. Make a big deal out of taking your child shopping for school supplies. Even toddlers will need a backpack for carrying home art projects and school notices. Choose a store with a large selection where your child can see other children and parents shopping for supplies, and have fun selecting supplies and explaining what they are for. Encourage your child to express preferences for each item.
3. Take your child to an open house at the preschool. This is a chance for your child to see the classroom and meet the teacher and other students before the real routine starts.

On the First Day

4. Encourage your child to bring a familiar, comforting toy or stuffed animal to school. Having a familiar object from home can go a long way toward making your child feel more secure in this new and unfamiliar environment.
5. Take your child into the preschool classroom. Encourage familiarity by walking around the classroom with your child and speaking to the teachers and students.
6. Take your child aside when it is time for you to leave. Explain that you are leaving and how long you will be gone, stressing that you will be back at a specific time. Your child may not have a frame of reference for time, but this stresses that there is a specific point in the day when you will be back. It might be helpful to find a wall clock and use it to show when you will be back.
7. Expect some tears. Many of the children in the classroom will be crying and yours may be one of them. As heart-wrenching as this will be, don't panic. It's to be expected, especially at first, and it's very important that you control the amount of anxiety you show your child. Your visible distress can validate your child's distress and make it worse. Express concern about your child's feelings, but when saying goodbye, the less drama you can display, the easier it will be to accept the situation as normal.
8. Say goodbye with a hug, kiss and a smile and then leave. Let your child watch you leave if this is helpful. Some children need the closure this provides so they can stop looking for you and turn their full attention to their surroundings.
9. Pick up your child at the appointed time. If possible, wait for him in a place that's visible right when when class is dismissed, such as inside a hallway near the classroom.
10. Make a big deal out of your child's accomplishment of having successfully completed the first day of preschool. Inquire about the class and ask questions to communicate your interest and your pride. Display any papers or projects in a place your child will consider prominent.

After the First Day

11. Make a firm routine of walking your child to class, saying goodbye and stressing what time you will be back. When you return at the end of the day, try to wait in the same spot every time so your child knows at a glance you are there.
12. Make plans with your child's new classmates on days you don't have school.
13. If separation anxiety continues, try carpooling with someone else at the preschool. Having someone else drop your child off at school can prevent crying.
14. Take pictures of the preschool and of your child's classroom. Display them prominently so the idea of preschool remains fresh and familiar.
15. Take pictures of your family, your pets, your home, your child's room and anything else that is a source of pride and comfort. Assemble the pictures into an album and put it in your child's backpack. Tell your child's teacher to ask to see the pictures if there are any difficulties. Showing off your family can boost morale and can help ease separation anxiety.
16. Take video, if possible, of portions of your child's classroom activities and of any special holiday or other programs in which your child participates. Replay these in the evenings to increase familiarity with the people and facilities. This will also allow your child to observe good times while at preschool.

Tips & Warnings

• Explain any deviation from the preschool routine, including details like a different family member picking your child up after school. Explain why the change is necessary and stress whether the change is permanent, or if it is only for the day.
• Never disregard extreme anxiety or negative reactions to the mention of preschool. If the subject causes your child to be extremely upset, you should investigate the possibility that something is wrong at preschool—either with another child or a member of the staff.