How to Start an Abstinent Relationship

Abstinence is a difficult road to travel in this day and age. One great way to help you live an abstinent lifestyle is to get into a relationship with a like minded person. However, this is not always a simple task. Finding an abstinent partner and discussing it for the first time can be very difficult, but with the right guidance you can go about starting an abstinent relationship gracefully.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Look for a partner in the right places. Going out barhopping is not the way to find an abstinent partner. If you are a Christian, church is a great place to look.

2. Begin the relationship slowly. Start out as friends only and get to know one another first.

3. Discuss your interests and personalities to connect with one another. Wait a while before bringing up sex as this can make a new partner uneasy.

4. Ask about your potential partner's religious background as this is usually a step in the right direction to starting the abstinence conversation.

5. Explain that you are abstinent and you wish to have an abstinent relationship with this person. Be prepared for either a very good or very bad reaction and do not be afraid to end the relationship if they do not agree.

6. Create ground rules early in the relationship to keep yourselves strong. Sex is a natural desire and it will come up in the future, and having a plan to combat it is necessary.

7. Prepare yourself mentally for the challenge and be ready for your partner to change their mind. If this happens, be strong and stand up for what you believe in, if they truly love you they will honor your decision.

Tips & Warnings

• Waiting too long to discuss abstinence may allow you to develop feelings with someone who does not agree with your principles.
• Consider getting religious advice, the Christian faith promotes abstinence and your local pastor should be able to give you plenty of advice.
• Do not immediately try to start a relationship as this will set a faster pace than you want. Spend some time getting to know each other by just hanging out together and with friends.
• Do not bring up the fact that you are abstinent the first few times you talk unless the conversation swings that way. Generally you should know each other fairly well (a few weeks) before discussing sex at all.

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[Quickstar]

on 12/23/2008 Very good advice.