How to Choose a Husband

Choosing the right husband is just as important as choosing the right shoes that go with the handbag, that goes with the belt, that goes with the dress, that goes with the house that Jack built. Wait a minute, something in that sentence isn't right . . .
Back to the point: Marriage is or, rather, should be a lifetime commitment. With that in mind, there are a number of qualities a woman must keep in mind when choosing her partner.

Instructions

1. Think outside the box. You know that box--the one that holds the journal you wrote when you were a pre-teen and lay next to your dollhouse, gazing at the newly re-arranged furniture and decided what your future mate would look like, smell like, talk like. The sky-rocketing divorce statistics show that we don't always choose the one that best suits us, but rather choose the one who looks the best. A recent magazine survey showed that only 44 percent of the 3,000 married women who were surveyed said they would marry their husbands a second time. Ouch.

2. Find a man who has the same moral values, social skills, political affiliations and financial status as you. This will make your march down the aisle a lot smoother.

3. Avoid the drop-dead gorgeous brawny man. Men with muscular physiques were rated nearly twice as sexy as non-muscular men, but they were also rated twice as intimidating and dominant. "Most women wouldn't choose to marry Brad Pitt because he has so many short-term dating opportunities," researcher David Frederick concluded after conducting a study of 300 college women. He found most women believe that someone that good-looking would not remain faithful to them. "The average woman would probably go for the Ray Romano guy as the long-term marriage partner," he said.

4. Be smart. Choose a husband who is at least as intelligent as you. Marriage expert Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. writes, "You and he should be roughly equivalent in intelligence, within about 15 IQ points. "

Tips & Warnings

• Opposites may attract, but they also counteract. Political opposites have married and seemed successful, such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, and James Carville and Mary Matlin. For the most part, however, a marriage does not survive or thrive in a constantly combative existence. Now if politics are not important to you, well then, enough said. Financial status encompasses earning potential and expectations of who will be the main breadwinner, if either partner is to be designated as such. Ask your candidate if he would support you while you pursue an education or have children. Socially, a shy, awkward or retiring man may eventually come out of his shell, but if an active social life is important to you, don't count on changing a man's personality.

• In a study presented at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality in San Diego, it was stated, "When women are choosing mates--except for very attractive women--they're facing a trade-off of choosing a guy who's very sexy or one who will stick around and treat them well." Gordon G. Gallup, Jr., a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Albany, said the study findings probably reflect human habits developed through evolution. "When women choose husbands, they may be seeking men who will invest in the family and their offspring and make a long-term, committed investment in the relationship."

• Without having to take an IQ test, you can usually figure the intelligence quotient of your future mate by comparing grades in school, although men are notorious underachievers in high school. College grades are a better measure of intelligence for both men and women. The quality of your conversation is another good indicator of compatible intelligence. Men who are stimulating to talk to are usually in your league intellectually. But if there is a large gap between you in IQ, both of you will tend to be bored by your conversation.

• Be open-minded. Don't get locked into finding a perfect fit. One or two discrepancies are manageable.