How to Be an Empathetic Friend

Lending a sympathetic ear to a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Being a good, empathetic friend involves showing empathy to pal in need and understanding their emotions as well as listening to their problems. In other words, empathy is putting yourself in another person's shoes. This is an important skill that is essential to creating and maintaining strong personal relationships. Here are a few steps on how to do it?

Instructions

1. Really listen to people when they talk. If you are going to empathize with someone, you first have to know what it is they are experiencing and you can not know that if you don't listen closely to what they have to say.

2. Mirror what the person has told you by repeating (in your own words) what they have said. By doing this, you verify that you have truly understood what they are saying and it provides them an opportunity to clarify anything you may have misunderstood. Plus it shows that you are listening.

3. Acknowledge the person's right to feel what they are feeling. You can do this by saying things like "I can see why that upsets you" or "I would be sad too." This helps validate the person's emotions and show you are making an effort to understand.

4. Show affection. Sometimes the best way to show your empathy for someone else is by reaching out to them physically. A hug, a touch on the shoulder or even a high-five can show the person you are supportive and feeling for them.

Tips & Warnings

• Eye contact is everything.

• If you have never actually experienced the specific emotion or problem a person is having, do not say you have. For example, a man should never say to a woman who has just given birth, "I know just how you feel." Obviously, he does not know and can not know, and the woman will think it is insensitive rather than empathetic. So always be sincere. Maybe you do not know exactly how the person feels, but if you follow the steps above you will at least be showing them that you care and want to understand. That alone can make a big difference.

Resources

• Find information about showing empathy at eqi.org/empathy.htm.