How to Deal With a Rude Cell Phone User

They’re everywhere—driving in cars, walking on the street, in cafes and restaurants, in the adjacent cubicle at work. While it’s true that cheap, compact cell phones have ushered in an unprecedented age of connectedness, they’ve also enabled the antisocial behavior of generally rude people who revel in imposing their private conversations on the rest of the world. Here’s how to deal with an oblivious cell-phone addict near you.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Perfect your glare. Before committing to a verbal confrontation, it’s best to express your irritation silently. Most folks who have been even partially socialized as children will interpret a long, bloodless stare in a crowded elevator as a cue to wrap up their cell-phone conversation as quickly as possible. By the same token, glaring at that clueless guy at the bar may make him clam up (or punch you in the face—but that’s the chance you take with this sort of thing).
2. Ask the offender to take the call elsewhere. Fortunately, most people who engage in loud, boring, public cell phone conversations are more narcissistic than aggressive—they simply aren’t aware that their behavior is objectionable. The trick is to be nice, but firm: say something like “I’m sorry, but I’m really trying to relax during my lunch break. Do you think you could lower your voice or take your conversation to a more private area?”
3. Find someone else to take care of the problem. If you’re being bothered by a loud cell phone conversation in a restaurant, on a train or in a theater, it’s not necessary to confront the perpetrator yourself. Tell your waiter, conductor or usher that you and others are being annoyed. Increasingly, businesses are taking it upon themselves to discourage rude cell phone behavior, and may be more eager to comply than you’d expect.
4. Eavesdrop when all else fails. Sometimes, the only way to get people to shut up is to make it clear that you’re listening to their conversation. During a pause in the chatter, say aloud to no one in particular, “Boy, I’m sure glad I don’t have prostate trouble!” Or whip out a pad and ostentatiously write down any number that the offending cell phone user shouts out to the person on the other end of the line.
5. Use a jamming device at your own peril. In the back pages of some magazines, you can order pocket jammers that will scramble cell-phone conversations within 10 or 20 feet. This is a tempting option, but think of the chaos that would result if everyone availed themselves of these devices—no one would ever be able to make a call in public ever again. (On the other hand, now that we’ve put it that way, go ahead and order some jammers for yourself and for everyone you know.)