How to Manage Anger

Anger can be an appropriate reaction to a perceived offense, whether real or imagined. However, you should learn to manage anger that can lead to violent or antisocial behavior. Follow these steps.

Things You'll Need

• Support system
• Trigger list
• Relaxation techniques

Instructions

1. Learn the "trigger signs" that make you angry. Maintain a list of events that typically trigger intense anger.

2. Note any physical reactions that precede bouts of anger. This can be anything from tightening your jaw muscles and clenching your fists to feeling your entire body go tense.

3. Learn to control your thoughts before, during and after a trying event. Talk yourself through situations that normally spark your anger. A conversation with yourself may keep you calm.

4. Remove yourself from heated situations before they escalate. Walk around the block or just enter another room to give yourself time to cool.

5. Distract yourself when you notice the physical signs of anger. Count from 1 to 10 or immerse yourself in an activity until you gain control of your feelings.

6. Learn the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. While it's important for you to express you feelings, refrain from uttering absolute statements that invalidate another's thoughts or feelings and can spark anger in both of you.

7. Work with an anger management therapist to uncover what's bothering you. Individuals often take out their anger over work situations on family members. Find an anger management specialist at the National Anger Management Association Web site (see Resources below).

8. Continually monitor your progress on your own or with the help of a licensed therapist. If you feel compelled to express your anger through violence, seek professional help immediately.

Tips & Warnings

• While you do have the right to freedom of speech under the First Amendment to the Constitution, you may be subject to legal action if your words are directed toward a specific individual in a public place with the intent to arouse anger.

• Anger can cause you more than just emotional problems. It may also cause an increased risk of heart problems, due to the increase in heartbeat and adrenaline experienced during times of extreme anger. Seek the assistance of a therapist or community-sponsored class to learn how to manage your anger.