How to Help a Loved One Leave a Violent Relationship

If someone close to you is in a violent relationship, you can help them escape. Follow these steps.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Contact a crisis center in your area. In addition to giving you a contact number in the event of an emergency, a domestic violence center can offer valuable advice that may save your loved one's life. Obtain a list of crisis centers nationwide at the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Web site, or call (800) 799-SAFE (see Resources below).

2. Explain to your loved one that the abuse is not his or her fault. It is common for a victim in a violent relationship to assume all the blame.

3. Help your loved one understand that domestic violence is against the law. Explain that there is legal, emotional and financial help available. This may give the person the courage to leave.

4. Ask your loved one to at least develop a sound safety plan, including an exit strategy, to escape domestic violence when it happens.

5. Offer to help with transportation, child care or finances. Many people stay in violent relationships because they lack the means to leave. Shouldering some of your loved one's burdens may make all the difference.

6. Locate a family law attorney in your area who can help your loved one build a case against the abuser.

7. Accompany your loved one to the meeting with the attorney. Encourage your loved one to press charges or file for a restraining order. Provide emotional support during this difficult time.

Tips & Warnings

• According to federal law, both victims and witnesses in domestic violence cases have the right to be treated with dignity and with respect for privacy.
• Respect the feelings of the victim of domestic violence. Abuse isn't just physical--it can also have devastating emotional effects. The psychological aspect of domestic violence often makes it difficult for victims to leave. Understand that your loved one may experience low self-esteem, depression and a sense of loss or betrayal. Encourage him or her to seek the help of a licensed therapist.