How to Escape Domestic Violence

Domestic violence occurs when one partner in a relationship physically harms, emotionally abuses or uses continual threats to dominate the other partner. Anyone in an abusive relationship should escape as quickly and safely as possible. Follow these steps to learn how.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Support system
• Transportation

1. Leave your home immediately before the violence escalates uncontrollably. Visit your nearest crisis center if you have no other viable options. For a list of crisis centers around the country, search the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Web site (see Resources below). You can also call (800) 799-SAFE to find a crisis center near you.

2. Change your cell phone or home phone number immediately after you've escaped the situation.

3. Document any attempts at contact by the perpetrator and save any threatening phone messages or photographs that show injuries at the hands of the abuser. This is your evidence should you decide to press charges or file a restraining order.

4. Make an escape plan in the event the abuser discovers where you're staying. Avoid any route that takes you through rooms with potential weapons, such as the kitchen.

5. Change your everyday routine. Take a new route to work or leave your home at a different time every day. These changes may help prevent your abuser from stalking you.

6. Speak with a family law advocate at your local crisis center. He or she can help you press charges against the perpetrator, file a temporary restraining order and advise you on how to seek a permanent restraining order.

7. Arrange to meet the abuser in a public place, if necessary. While it's best to avoid the abuser completely, if you must exchange documents or personal effects, do it in broad daylight where plenty of people are around. Even better, have some friends make the exchange for you or ask them to accompany you if you must meet with the abuser.

Tips & Warnings

• Gather your important papers to take with you, including vital certificates, social security cards, insurance policies, proof of income and copies of leases and deeds.
• Remember that as a victim of domestic violence, you have the right to speak with an attorney provided by the government.
• Being subjected to repeated domestic violence can extract a devastating psychological toll. If you experience severe depression, low self-esteem or feelings of intense anger and aggression, you must seek help. Find support groups in your area that can help you cope with your emotions.

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