How to Cope With the Loss of Your Pet

For some people the loss of a beloved pet is no different than the loss of any other family member. There is a difference, however, in how people react to it. The person who has lost a pet may be inconsolable and then have it intensified by the attitude of others who feel that it was just a pet, after all. A pet is the one family member who loves and accepts them, with shows of loyalty and affection at all times and in all circumstances. Many people are devastated at the loss of this kind of a friend. So, how do you cope when it’s your best friend that’s gone?

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Realize that you have a right to feel grief over your loss. It is a normal reaction to your loss. Grief is a process whereby we learn to become whole again when a big part of our life is gone. It will take time and tears to heal, so give yourself some time to feel better again.
2. Understand that other people may not understand the depth of your loss. Maybe they aren’t pet owners or they just didn’t ever bond with a pet as strongly as you did. If you need someone to understand, talk to someone who really loves both you and animals. You can also choose to go to a pet grief therapist if theirs is one available where you live. Ask your veterinarian about this option.
3. Allow yourself to grieve. The stages of grief are the same for the loss of a person or a beloved pet. First you feel denial. It’s a sense of disbelief—a feeling that this can’t be true. Because you can’t cope with your emotions, you push them away as much as possible at this stage.
4. Be angry. After denial, it’s natural to feel anger. This is the ‘why me, why my pet?’ feeling that death has cheated you out of something irreplaceable. At this point, it’s good to journal and get the anger out in a safe way. You can also do something physical to help with the energy that anger can generate. Rake leaves, work in the garden, or scrub the floor.
5. Cry if you need to. Depression is the next stage of grief. This occurs when you are ready to face and deal with your loss. As bad as this stage feels, you’re getting better. You’re processing your loss and grief and now you’re strong enough to handle it. You may want to write about your feelings or about your pet—what you will remember most and about what you will miss. This is a hard place to be, but remember that this is a stage. The overwhelming grief and sorrow will pass.
6. Accept your loss. The last stage of grief is the process of letting go of the terrible pain of your pet’s death and realizing that, although things really won’t ever be the same, that you will be okay without them. This is the stage where you can look at your pet’s things and pictures more easily because you will be able to smile at those memories a little now.
7. Choose a way to honor your beloved pet. Write a lovely letter and have a special memorial service for them, alone or with others who loved them, too. Make a donation to a local shelter. Pack up your pet food and bring it to the shelter with a note from your pet. Frame a beautiful picture of them. Whatever makes you feel like you are honoring your special friend’s memory will be the best thing for you to do.
8. As you grieve, do what feels right and helps you through it. Some people need to put all of their pet’s things away for a season, while others want to see those memories all around them. Some want to wait a long time to get a new pet; others want a new one right away. (If you do choose to adopt, please consider the local shelter where many wonderful animals need loving homes.) Your heart will tell you what’s right.