How to Cope With Abuse and Domestic Violence

Battering is defined by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence as a behavioral pattern that is meant to control or exert power over another. This can involve actions not limited to physical violence, including emotional and monetary manipulation. If you are in an abusive relationship, you do not have to remain a victim. Follow these steps to end the pattern.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Computer with Internet access
• Telephone

Get Professional Advice

1. Contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. The hotline is staffed by people who have experience assisting victims of abuse and will maintain your confidentiality. Speak with a professional to get advice on how to cope in your situation.
2. Find a psychologist by consulting the National Register of Accredited Psychologists (see Resources below). Abuse in any form takes a strong emotional toll on the victim.

Warn Your Partner

3. Speak with your partner about the abuse. Make it clear the behavior must end immediately.
4. Suggest couples counseling. Seeing a psychologist together can help end an abusive situation.
5. Investigate local anger management programs. These programs help abusive people cope with unresolved anger that may be initiating their need to control.
6. Keep a list of important contact numbers on hand in case your partner turns violent or abusive. Be prepared to exit your situation immediately. Carry some cash at all times, so that you can access transportation if you must.

Take Care of Yourself

7. End the relationship if the abuse does not stop. Enlist the support of family and friends to help you cope.
8. Join a support group through the National Association Against Domestic Violence (see Resources below). Speaking about your issue in a group with others who have been through the same thing can help you feel less alone.
9. Seek help at a shelter for victims of domestic violence. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline can direct you toward a shelter in your area.

Tips & Warnings

• Know the facts. Typically, abuse from a partner happens to women. A study from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence shows that women were the victims in 85 percent of abuse cases.
• Understand domestic violence laws. Usually, most states will only classify a case as domestic violence if the partners are married, living together or have kids. In other words, relationships where the partners are just dating will not qualify. However, violence is unacceptable in any form and must be reported as assault or battery.
• If you choose to press charges, you have the right to protection from your abusive partner as your case proceeds.
• Do not stay in a physically abusive relationship. People who are prone to violence will typically not stop without professional help. The abuse can start with simple pinching, slapping or pushing but can escalate to severe battery or even murder.