How to Cope With the Loss of a Pet

Anyone who loses a pet knows it can be like losing a family member. Although recovery might take a while—there are different ways to find comfort—as well as honor your beloved companion.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Cremate your pet and keep the ashes in an urn or box in her favorite room in the house or scatter the ashes in another special place, such as the yard. There are also picture frames available that are backed by a shadow box that can hold your pet's ashes as well as a photo. Some people like to wear jewelry containing some of the ashes to always keep their pet close. If you choose not to keep the ashes, there are still many ways to honor your pet's memory. Or if you prefer, you can buy a cemetery plot at a pet memorial park with a stone bearing your pet’s name and anything special you want to say. If you live in a rural or suburban area, you may be allowed to bury your pet in the yard.
2. Discuss your feelings with people who would understand and who knew your pet or have suffered the loss of a pet. There is also online support available and pet loss support hotlines sponsored by university veterinary schools. It helps to talk about it.
3. Create a “memory garden” in your yard and lay flowers or plant ones in memory of your pet. Place a brick, stone or statue marker with an inscription about your pet, such as "Cleo's Yard." Make it your spot for comfort and healing.
4. Hold a memorial service at a pet cemetery, in your backyard, or in a place that was special to your pet. For instance, the off-leash dog park. You can invite people and other dogs that were around your dog a lot.
5. Enter your pet as a “resident” of Rainbows Bridge, a wonderful online memorial home (See Resources below). This way you can leave toys, treats, flowers, or special memories whenever you like and communicate with others who are experiencing the loss of a pet. There is also a weekly candlelighting ceremony in which you can participate and request an online candle be lit for your pet.
6. Save your pet's favorite toy, collar, blanket, or bowl as a symbol of your pet; or keep a box filled with his belongings. Keep a scrapbook filled with memories of your pet including photos; sympathy cards; a caricature of your pet if you have one; writings that have to do with pleasant memories of your pet, such as a poem you wrote or the card that was on her cage at the shelter listing her personality traits (which turned out to be so unlike her).
7. Write a letter or poem to your pet, or perhaps a story about your pet.
8. Light a memorial candle. Some come with a dedication card and rituals to go with the lighting.
9. Frame a photo of your pet or commission a pet portrait artist to do a portrait of your pet from your favorite photo and keep it in a special place.
10. Donate to an animal organization in your pet’s memory or volunteer (for instance at the shelter where you adopted him), so you can find comfort in helping other animals. You can also make a donation to a veterinary school in your pet's honor.
11. Adopt a new pet whenever the time is right.

Tips & Warnings

• There are a variety of spiritual, religious and psychology books available on coping with the loss of a pet. One I highly recommend to those who have lost a dog is "Angel Pawprints: Reflections on Loving and Losing a Canine Companion...An Anthology of Pet Memorials" edited by Laurel E. Hunt with a forward by renowned veterinary oncologist Dr. Alice Villalobos (See Resources below).
• Pet memorial parks can be a comforting place to visit after the loss of your pet, especially if the cremation or burial will take place there. Viewing the body prior to cremation or burial is a chance to touch your pet and say goodbye one last time...and can offer some closure.
• In the beginning, none of the above will take away the hurt and loss you are feeling. Go at your own pace...but always remember that you are not alone. There are many others who know exactly what you are going through. Know that your pet will always be close to you in memory and spirit and it also helps to believe you will be reunited someday.
• It's cliche...but time heals all wounds. You are going to be okay.