How to Protect Your Child Against Parental Abduction

Most of the children who are abducted each year have been taken by their noncustodial parent. This is a terrifying ordeal to the parent who has custody because they have no idea if their child is with their parent or with some other dangerous stranger. There are a great many things to do to prepare ahead for this scenario, and you should absolutely do these things if your ex is not a person your children would be safe with.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Make sure that your custody documents are in order and in a place where you can get to them. Keep one copy in your home and one in a safety deposit box in case of fire or loss. With these papers on hand, it will cut through a lot of debate and arguing when it comes time to prove what the custody agreement says .
2. Recording your child’s changes is important. If your child is under 5, make sure you have a good face shot every three months. It would not hurt to have a full body shot next to something that shows the child’s size. If your child has anything that would be considered an identifying mark that is in a visible location, like a birthmark on the hand or a scar on their arm, take a picture that shows this. Keep a copy of these pictures in a safe place. After the age of 5, update these photos every six months.
3. Help any investigation by starting to prepare now. If you’re ex would be a likely suspect in the event that you child turns up missing, pick out a few snapshots of your ex, especially if they show variations in their appearance, such as a beard or moustache or a different hair color. Keep these with your child’s photos.
4. Make sure to fingerprint your child. This is a necessity for all kids—but more so for at risk children. Your local police station will probably do this for a nominal fee, but if they don’t, ask them for a referral or call the local sheriff’s office or FBI to find out where this can be done.
5. Keep your child aware of the situation in as much detail as he or she can handle. If your child is not aware of the problems with your ex or the dangers they may be in, teach them. Help the child to understand that they are not to go off with your ex, no matter what circumstances, unless you are with them (or unless you have given permission). Make sure they understand that no matter what they are told, this is your rule and they have to do this.
6. Teach your children what to do if your ex shows up. This may mean doing some role playing and showing them. Teach kids to yell "no" and run to others. Tell them if they are touched or held by your ex, they should kick and hit and scream "help" or "call the police" or "he’s kidnapping me," depending on the child’s age and how much he can understand and remember.
7. Guard against break-ins to help to keep your child safe. If you are still living in the family home, make sure to get your locks all changed and have good window locks. You can buy these at hardware stores or large department stores. If you can, get to know your neighbors and let them know that it's OK to call the police if they spot your ex hanging around. They may also be kind enough to keep an extra eye on your kids if they are aware of this.
8. Keep a detailed account of information about your ex with your other pictures. Include current family and friend names, addresses and phone numbers, current and former workplaces, information on vehicles, insurance companies, social security number (keep this private except for law enforcement officials and lawyers), clubs, hangouts, hobbies and any police records. If he or she has distinctive characteristics such as a limp, lisp, birthmark or a piece of jewelry they never take off, write that down.
9. Supervise or have someone you trust supervise your children at all times. Every babysitters should be checked out. Your ex may be willing to pay someone a good bit of money or threaten them in order to get your kids. Make sure to use responsible adults as sitters. Set up guidelines for where they are allowed to take your children and that they must call ahead before doing so. If your kids go out to play, make sure the sitter will actually pay attention to them even while they’re outside.
10. Set rules about where your kids are allowed to go even when you’re home. Make sure they know they must never go off anywhere without checking with you. You need to know their friends and the friend’s parents, their coaches and their teachers and anyone else who is ever in charge of your child. Inform their school, doctor, caretakers, family, friends and other appropriate people that your child may be at risk for parental abduction.
11. If at all possible, get your child a cell phone. Set it to speed dial your own phone and teach them how to call 911. Make sure they know their phone number and address (including the city and state). They also need to know your workplace, your whole name and – if they’re old enough – the phone numbers of a few really trustworthy family members of friends. Teach them what to say if they call 911. You should program important numbers into the cell phone for them. Use an ICE listing – in case of emergency – as police and rescue personnel are trained to look for that.
12. Even if you don’t have a child that you consider high risk, most of these actions are smart moves to make. Knowing where your child is at all times and keeping him and his significant others as informed as possible will prove invaluable should the unthinkable happen.