How to Plan a Memorial Service

A memorial service is a service held after the death of someone without the body present. It usually attempts to focus on remembering and celebrating the person’s life rather than mourning. You can generally exercise more creativity with a memorial service than with a funeral, and the service need not be held within a few days of the person’s death.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Guestbook
• Flowers
• Refreshments
• Decorations
• Microphone
• Music

1. Decide on the date and time for the memorial service. Generally, these types of services are held several weeks or even months following the death, or sometimes on the first anniversary of the death.
2. Decide on a location and venue. Consider a church setting for formality, or a community center, park, lodge or beach for a more informal gathering.
3. Consider whether you want to have a small guest list, a large guest list, make a public announcement or do invitation-only.
4. Give your guests enough advance notice so they can plan to attend.
5. Decide how to invite guests. You can send written invitations, make phone calls and/or make a public announcement via newspapers, bulletins boards and the radio.
6. Find someone to lead the service. You could select a clergyman, a professional memorial-service speaker or someone close to the deceased who is comfortable with public speaking.
7. Get family members and friends involved in the service. You’ll need speakers, readers, singers, musicians, guestbook attendants, candle lighters, cooks and decorators.
8. Plan how you would like the service to look and what happens during the service.
9. Select and plan the music, readings, flowers and other decorations, photographs and other displays, open-mic session (if applicable) and any symbolic elements you want to incorporate.
10. Assign someone to be in charge of refreshments, such as food, snacks, desserts and beverages.
11. Serve the refreshments immediately following the service, seeing as there is no formal burial.

Tips & Warnings

• Have a guestbook for guests to sign to preserve memories of the day.
• Don’t worry about planning a formal “reception” as most funerals have. Refreshments can be served standing at the back of the venue or sitting in the basement—however you’d like to arrange it.
• Think about playing some “fun” and upbeat music in the background (particularly music loved by the deceased) before and after the service, and during the refreshments.
• Consider having an “open mic” during the refreshments, where friends and family can share memories of the deceased.
• Don’t serve alcohol at or following a memorial service. Coffee, tea and juice are great alternatives.