The proliferation of online dating sites makes the process of qualifying potential mates fast and efficient. This can be both a good and a bad thing. As one begins using online dating sites they can quickly find themselves deluged with emails and interested parties. To avoid moving to quickly or becoming overloaded with conversations with people who are not your "match" use a good model for screening and qualifying dates. This will help save you time, money and spare you drawn out long dates with individuals you know are not a fit in the first 5 minutes.
Things You'll Need
- One or more reputable online dating sites
- Good qualification skills
Don't lie on your profile (tall claims, pictures from 10 lbs ago, etc.) The online dating process works best if you are honest. Pretend you are something you are not and you will soon find yourself juggling a maze lies. Put the real you out there and trust the process.
Always exchange at least 3 emails before speaking on the phone. Ask questions that reveal more details as the conversation progresses. Offer some insight in to yourself also. Don't hide potential deal killers- I am married, I have kids, I live abroad, I am in prison. Be suspicious of vague and short responses.
After 3 preferably detailed emails are exchanged, and no sooner than two emails into a discourse, ask for pictures. The more the better. Anyone can take ONE good picture.
If you are still interested you are now ready to move to a phone conversation. Ask for their number. Many things can be revealed over the phone. The lack of time available to craft an email is eliminated. You now see how the person responds to questions and conversations on the fly. If voice is important to you, you now have another piece of the puzzle.
Once you have exchanged emails, photos, and spoken on the phone you can now consider a face to face date. I suggest meeting for drinks in an intimate, but not overly romantic or dark setting, at a venue where drinks can easily be extended to dinner. This provides the invaluable options of having one drink and ending the date without appearing rude or extending a date to multiple drinks or dinner if things go well. Furthermore, you can manage cost and time spent until such time as you confirm that you really want to spend more time with the person. Many an active dater finds themselves spending hundreds of dollars a month on dates with people they have no interest in seeing second time.
Tips & Warnings
- Avoid wasting time writing to people who have been inactive on the online dating site for more than 2-3 weeks. Generally they are off the market or no longer active on the site.
- Attractive females often get inundated with emails. Don't waste your time "winking" or using the lazy man's tools many online dating sites offer. Spend the time to read the person's profile and write a clever email that references something in their profile.
- Don't use form emails.
- Never ask someone out after only exchanging emails via the online dating site's tools. Talk on the phone first.
- Never commit to long, expensive first dates. Keep is casual with the potential to extend the date if successful.
- Never commit to a non-public venue with someone you do not know on a first date (visiting their home, a hike in the woods, etc.) Use common sense and be cautious until you get to know the person.