How to make a perfectly restorative chicken soup

Recent studies have indicated that chicken soup has actual healing properties--though just the idea of a soothing, warm bowl of glistening broth is enough to place me on the path of recovery. Either way, it's one of life's true simple pleasures. But not when it comes from a tin. I realize that, when you're sneezing and achy, you don't really want to be puttering about in the kitchen, so try this miracle meal when you're right as rain. Perhaps it also has preventative properties...

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. In a large pot of heavily salted water, add a bunch of celery stalks, a handful of peppercorns, a few carrots, three or four unpeeled onions, some parsley--stalks and all--and a bay leaf. Then throw in your whole, eerie, feet-in-tact, beak-in-tact chicken. Some people actually eat these vile parts of the bird, and while I can't go that far, they do flavor the base of the soup beautifully.
2. After boiling your concoction for at least three hours, remove all bits--chicken and all--and toss them away. You will be left with a golden, glimmering broth. But to be sure you're getting flavor not fat, strain your soup through a fine sieve fitted with a couple of paper towels on top. The towels will catch the fat, but the flavorful, golden soup will seep through.
3. The traditional, Jewish way to create texture for your chicken soup is to make little matzah balls. The truth is, for me, this starts to feel like work. There's something about shaping those little balls that feels like baking and sets in me a fiery panic which instantly saps the whole cooking experience of its calming pleasures. But if you're a matzah-maker superstar, have at it! If you're like me, boil up a quick batch of egg noodles and add to your perfect broth.
4. The soup, ideally, should be eaten with no accompaniment, and with a big spoon.

Tips & Warnings

• Get used to buying those whole, feet-and-all birds from your local butcher. After you try this restorative soup, you'll never go back to Campbell's.