How to Write Your Own Vows

Expression of your love and feelings toward your fiancé is a given for a wedding. But you can do this through your own words, and not leave it up to the minister or priest. Choosing to write your own vows is a common decision many couples make when getting married. Read on to learn how to write your own vows for your wedding.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Pen
• Paper

1. Sit down with your fiancé and decide to write your own vows. You want to do this early in the wedding plans, because the person marrying you has to agree to it.
   
2. Ask the person who will marry the two of you if he or she is alright with you and your fiancé writing your own vows. Many people in that position understand your desire to write your own, but you want to find someone supportive of that decision.
   
   
3. Establish guidelines between you and your fiancé of what you are going to write. Remember, expressing your love and admiration in a personalized way is the goal.
4. Start by jotting down a few ideas of memories you have of your fiancé, such as trips, songs or a funny date story. The more you get in tune with your feelings for your fiancé, the easier it will be to find the words to express.
5. Begin to piece some of those stories together, choosing the most appropriate ones based on quality, appropriateness and validity. Continue to jot down as many of these as you can, but start putting together a format in your mind.
6. Practice saying what you have written down in front of a mirror, and listen to how the words sound. The written language is a different form of communication than the spoken one, so make sure you are able to say it like it reads in your mind.
   
   
7. Begin the editing process. You now want to start finalizing everything that you have written.
8. Write everything down again in an organized format, as if you are giving a speech. Make sure each portion transitions seamlessly into the next one.
   
   
9. Practice the final draft multiple times until you are completely comfortable with it. Ask a friend or family member to listen if you are comfortable with people hearing it before the ceremony.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep your writing environment comfortable. Your true feelings and your best words are going to come in environments relaxing to you, both physically and mentally.
• Keep a notepad and pen or pencil with you at all times. You never know when a thought or inspiration will hit you.
• Don’t rush yourself. Try to do a little bit at a time, because ripping through it is only going to lessen the impact of what you are trying to say.
• Don’t pressure your fiancé or yourself into writing your own vows. If you don’t feel confident in your ability to express your feelings in words for hundreds of your closest friends and family members to hear, don’t put yourself or your fiancé through the experience.

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