How to make a low-carb milkshake

Music is the universal language? Nah. It's milkshakes.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Be sure to have an excellent blender--although when FoodTVers blend, even THEY have to sort of shake the base and constantly wipe down the sides to get the thing to actually "blend". I mean, a blenders' ONE job in life is to blend--why does Giada Di Laur-freakin-rentis have to wrestle with hers? I mean, I don't NEED for my blender to blend golf clubs, soda cans, marbles, and laptops, (www.blendtec.com) but if it means I can make a margarita without injuring my bicep, I'm in.
2. Spoon a few hearty scoops of your Dreyer's Sugar-Free vanilla ice cream into the blender.
3. Pour a little bit of heavy cream (I know--it's called a MILKshake, but true low-carbers know that counter intuitively, cream actually has less sugar than milk).
4. Now, you could throw in some unsweetened cocoa, and then a few pinches of Splenda if you were so inclined, but I prefer a classic--the vanilla malt. Now, Malted Milk is actually made from wheat, so go sparingly. Fortunately, the flavor is quite concentrated, so you only need a small sprinkle. Carnation malted milk is fine.
   Also, I'm not particularly interested in chocolate, and sort of jealous of these desperate, longing women who talk about chocolate like it's the best thing since sliced bread. Frankly, I prefer sliced bread. Feel free to leave comments either making fun of me or offering ways to help me indulge in chocolate which will bring about a stirring of rapture in my heart for the much-beloved cocoa bean.
5. Blend til, well, blended. Once it's creamy, you can add a couple of cubes for extra crispness.

Tips & Warnings

• Squirt a flowery spurt of Reddi-Whip on top for a profesh presentation.