How to not have stinky pits

Don't lie to me--you STINK. You know it. I know it. Stop denying that you're a foul, wet-pitted, stank-smelling, stain-shirted pig. But this is your last day of olfactory cruelty.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. If you're someone who has ever considered botox (on your pits, that is), consider this instead: Before you seek white-coated professional help, try a pit stop at Target for Mitchum's cream deodorant. I know it sounds like a dude's product, but this baby is strong enough for a woman. It smells clean and crisp and keeps you drier longer than any other de-sweater I've ever tried. I swear, one swipe a day keeps the surgeon away!
2. Be sure to shave "under there" every day. The smoother the underarm, the more your deodorant can do its thing.
3. Pat a little bit of baby powder under your arms before bed--I find this sops up the excess wetness, which will make you less of a stink-bug the following day.
4. The tighter the shirt, the more far-reaching the sweat stain. The more you keep your clothing loose around your pits, the sweeter you'll smell.

Tips & Warnings

• Stay away from aerosols and click-up cream-worms--they will make you reek even more.