How to Sense an Early Playoff Exit for an NBA Team

The NBA Playoffs are a clean slate for sixteen teams every year, and handicapping the field can be a tricky business. Here’s how you can spot the warning signs for the teams that just don’t have it.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. The coach concedes he’s happy just to make the playoffs this year—and will be even happier when his vacation to the Bahamas starts.
2. The starting center injures himself a day before the first round in a freak car accident—running over the starting point guard.
3. The team has a ‘timberwolf’ or a ‘clipper’ for a mascot.
4. The team owner hires a detective agency to find out just what these supposed ‘playoffs’ are.
5. The team has an 11-71 won-loss record, somehow makes the playoffs through a bizarre computer glitch, and must play the Suns in the first round.
6. Team hasn’t won a playoff series since the rule change instituting ‘rims’ and ‘scoring’ in 1935.
7. Five-foot-seven Earl Boykins is the tallest guy on the team.

Tips & Warnings

• Try to take solace in the thought that a first-round exit isn’t the worst thing that could happen to your team. Just ask any Golden State Warriors fan!