How to Choose Family Members to Attend Your Wedding

Planning a wedding can be stressful. When you throw family into the equation, it can be absolutely maddening. When you make an invite list, narrowing down which family members to include can be a tricky process. The key to deciding which family members are invited and which ones are not is to remember it’s your wedding and you have a budget that you have to work within. Here’s how to choose family members to attend your wedding.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Pen
• Paper

1. Make a wedding budget. The first thing to do is set an overall wedding budget. One large component of this budget will be for the reception. Remember, each guest will cost a certain amount of money. Based on this reception budget, you will have an idea of the total number of guests you can invite.
2. Make a list. Sit down with your fiancé and each other’s families and make out a list of every family member you think you should at least consider inviting. At this point, ignore your budget as this is a wish list and should be comprehensive.
3. Create rules and criteria. Once you have your wish list, start making cuts. It helps if you start by establishing ground rules. For example, only invite family members up to a certain lineage like first cousins. This ensures your closest relatives will be there and you can avoid the snowball effect of inviting some second cousins or great aunts and not others.
4. Say no to guests. Unless the invitee is in a long-term relationship, do not feel obligated to let them bring a guest. They are family and will know plenty of people at the wedding.

Tips & Warnings

• Always make sure the number of guests is equal on both sides of the families to avoid ill feelings.
• Keep in mind that at least 25 percent of all invited guests won’t be able to attend.
• Those who do not make the cut can be put on a second list and invited as people on the first list respond.
• If you are not inviting children, be sure to clearly spell out Adults Only in the invitation. To ensure there’s no confusion, list a specific age.
• If you bump into someone that you didn’t invite, do not verbally invite them out of guilt. This is tacky.

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