How to join the mafia

Can't believe these cafones dont have anything on getting into the mafia. So I'm gonna put it out. And nothing here that the FBI dont know already.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• The Right Mindset
• An Income

1. You aint gonna get into the mob unless they know you have something to offer them. People in the mob are there for two reasons. 1) They might have a family member in the mob. Or 2) They earn a lot of money through legal or illegal means and made the right connection. You can't just expect there to be a mafia out there, who you can meet and greet, swear loyalty to, and be set up with an easy high paying job or gig.. That **** doesn't fly. You need to become an "earner" - show them you can earn money. What do you get in return? A network of people who want your service - whatever it may be. Sure you can get that in school, or in college, but not like the high profile network that comes along with made men. So get a job or open a business. The easiest way to get in is starting off as an enforcer, bill collector or whatever. Look at the Adult Industry - they have escort agencies that you can get with as a driver. You drive escorts from place to place. When a client refuses to pay, you do a collection. Make a name for yourself. Be loyal. Live by principles, honor and respect, take a fall and dont let anything get to your head. If you're carrying someones 3,000 cash, you better make sure they get every dollar of it and dont try coming up with some stupid line "my dog ate it" or "I was robbed", because that can get you killed. If GOD himself took the cash out of your hand, you can still get whacked for losing it. Theres no excuse (or reason) for losing money. None. Zip. Nada. If you lose your bosses cash, you're one foot in the hole already.
2. Check out Craiglist website, the adult section for escort agencies and escorts. Tell them you wanna drive. Get a GPS and you'll get hired even faster. Dont know what a GPS is? Look it up dumbass! Check out Ganglandnews website, they spill all the beans where the mob hangs out and what places they own. Go to those places, become a familar face. Start hanging out there with a friend or two. Before you know it, you'll be building a network. You want to build a network out of your escort driving gig. Having more then one connection is a good thing because you always need to be flexible with your contacts.
3. Now you're driving chicks around. Dont flirt with them. Dont try to bang them. You'll get banged doing that - and I mean shot. Just treat them like a pile of cash, transport the cash from one place to another and never ask questions. The more you DONT know, the less you can be asked later on. Get a set of balls when you do collections. This is your time to shine. The people who go the highest up the ladder always had a big pair of cajones (balls). I'm not advocating going to a collection with a pipe under your jacket, smacking the **** in the head THEN asking for the cash after, simply because this is the internet and I could get in trouble advocating that. But always read between the lines and always use your head. Like I said, this is your time to shine.
4. If you always keep your word, idolize a specific gangster (Carlo Gambino was the best), and do the above mentioned, you'll get connections before you know they are connections. You gotta earn your way in, nothing in life is free. And its not an easy life. I'm not glorifying it one bit. You'll meet people who turn around and do something wrong then blame it on you. You'll meet people who string you along, knowing you want in, and use the **** out of you then dissapear. You'll meet guys that think you're an FBI Agent and might toss you in the ocean. And if you have a big mouth and like to talk alot, you can even find yourself locked up behind bars. If anything, I'd advocate getting a legal job, working the 9-5, paying your taxes, and becoming an upstanding, voting american citizen. Because its such a ****in perfect world, aint it?

Tips & Warnings

• Get a mentor ASAP. This can be your first Boss. Look into Driving Escorts. Being a Doorman at a Strip Club, theres always advancement opportunity. Never ever date a stripper or escort. They all have some weird diseases. And it's a situation you dont want to get into. You'll piss off management.
• After you're done reading, go to monster.com and get a real job. **** this mafia ****. It aint for you. If it was, you'd be in it already ****!