How to stop smoking

I myself am lucky enough never to have needed such how-to advice. But I finally constructed this little theory after dealing with many failed attempts by friends and bf's. It sounds silly, but it works.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Decide that this is ACTUALLY something you want. Not something you know you SHOULD do. Decide that you realize you're going to die otherwise.
2. Go on youtube and watch as many anti-smoking commercials as you can stomach. I find the ones which feature ex-smokers with those throat vibrators are especially effective.
3. Smoke your last cigarette but keep the box. Stash nicorette gum in the box and chew when you're getting the nicotine crave.
4. Maintain your EXACT smoking routine--go outside when the other smokers do, scurry outside after your dinner, etc. Do just what you would do if you were actually smoking--but instead of lighting up, chew your little, lemony gum. Chew it for exactly the amount of time that you would smoke--then spit out. Keeping these physical habits allows you to break the actual addiction without giving up everything.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't smoke those nicotine-free cigs--they won't allow you to break free of the hand/mouth comfort.