How to Be a Man and Still Get to Heaven

If you are a young man, then you can either wait patiently for ownership of the soul you were born to own or "sell" it to pursue the life of your dreams (through which you will earn your own soul.) First, a bit of explanation---Your 'soul' is your "eternal reputation" (i.e. what your life writes in Your section of the book of Omnipotent History, your map to Heaven). However, 'the book of Omnipotent History' is not written in words or actions we men can understand, but rather in eternal results. Thus you men are now bound for Hell unless you "earn your soul back" through the following process:

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• access to lots of books and articles
• a fun place to meet other men and women
• a 'life's purpose' other than family (i.e. a means for money)
• wise investments (i.e. retirement compensation, an account in a retirement fund, investment in an investment fund with a steady profit-history)

1. READ. Read every worthy thing you can get your hands on. Going to school teaches you to skip the unworthy reading. 'All the reading you can handle' will inspire you to make sure you do (and keep doing) step (2) right!
2. Earn an income. This will start out as 'a job for extra money,' and will be forced into becoming 'life sustanence' (though your profits will soon grow to encompass both 'extra money' AND 'life sustanence'). When your income is "extra"-enough for you to contribute back into society, add step (3) to your daily to-do.
3. Make sure that whatever you contribute to society pays you back---in "money" when you're 'on the clock,' in "fun" when you're not. (And if you read enough and keep reading, you know what your 'off the clock'-fun leads to between steps-(3) and -(4))
4. Be Proud of your Children.

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient
• They don't tell you how painful Hell is.
• Don't die until you earn your soul.