How to Embrace Your Traditional Side When You Become a Parent

You've protested outside furriers, pierced or tattooed half your body, bungee jumped off bridges, worn black for the last two decades, espoused sweeping social change and rejected everything your parents taught you. But once your bundle of joy arrived, you noticed a startling new you emerging. Suddenly you are more risk averse, you look at your baby’s beautiful body and cannot imagine it altered with ink, you are attracted to baby clothes you’d formerly dismiss as saccharine and conformist, and then, one day, you find your parents’ words coming out of your mouth! What can you do? Follow these steps to learn how to embrace your traditional side when you become a parent.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Out with the old, in with the new? Not necessary! Becoming a parent means all kinds of new things in your life, including an attraction to toys from your youth, safety seats and Dr. Seuss. Accept your new tendencies, without rejecting the old ways out of hand.
   
   
2. Make your new parenthood a time for reflection; during those long hours you pace your living room with a crying baby, chanting endlessly the three songs you remember from sixth grade babysitting class, examine your lifestyle, and imagine the changes to come with a baby on board.
3. Discuss your new found attraction to domestic bliss, keeping one parent at home, plastic toys, baby talk, safe neighborhoods, air bags, Labradors and Sunday School with your partner—he or she may be experiencing similar thoughts, or be able to nip your traditional urges in the bud.
4. Embrace the Yin and Yang that is the new you, balancing new beliefs with old, tradition with rebellion, social radical with economic conservative, but keep espousing to a minimum while the dust settles on the new you, lest you lose your social network.
5. Reconsider your parents; were they, perhaps, right about a few things? Do you bundle your baby up when it’s cold outside, watch for cars when crossing the street and try to feed Junior a balanced diet? Consider your changing attitude a reflection of new information, not your initial ignorance, to make peace with your parents.
6. Remember that babyhood is not forever, and that your obsession with vehicle safety ratings, scrap booking, knitting baby booties and primary colors will fade as your child grows into a rebellious toddler, an outrageous three-year-old, and a four-year-old wise enough to give you advice—and your sleep-deprived state abates and sanity returns.

Tips & Warnings

• Sunday School doesn't have to mean crisp white shirts and Bible study; there is a wealth of options for modern parents seeking religious education as opposed to religious indoctrination. Shop around.
• Hip parents can still wear black, and their babies too! You can embrace your traditional urges while keeping your edge by decorating the detritus of parenting life with your signature look.
• Don’t reject common sense urges because they’re traditional or remembered from your childhood; you want what’s best for your baby, make him or her your first priority.
• Don’t panic if you suddenly don’t care as much about appearances, coolness, an edgy lifestyle or the latest in Goth apparel, this is part of parenthood.